have had to ask him if he could get me
some sleeping-things to pass the night in. _And_ a piece of soap.
Humiliating, but unavoidable. He promised, but he has not brought
them. Probably this last request has done for me, and he is now
communicating with the police....

A tap at my door. "Please, de tings!" says the Waiter. I have wronged
him. He has brought me _such_ a nightgown! Never saw anything in the
least like it before. It has flowers embroidered all down the front
and round the cuffs, and on every button something is worked in tiny
blue letters, which, on inspection, turns out to be "Good-night." I
don't quite know why, but, in my present state, I find this strangely
consoling, and even touching--like a benediction. After all, he _must_
believe in me, or he would hardly confide his purple and fine linen to
me like this. Go to bed gorgeous, and dream that my portmanteau, bag,
and self-respect are all restored to me by the afternoon boat....
There must be something in dreams, for, oddly enough, this is exactly
what _does_ happen.

Next morning, at breakfast, I am handed a mysterious and, at first
sight, rather alarming telegram from the Station-master at Dover.
"Your bones will be sent on next boat." Suspect the word in the
original was "_boxes_." But they may call them what they like, so
long as I get them back again.

* * * * *

"_The Campaign against the Jebus. Gallant Advance of the British._"
Dear old Mrs. RAM wants to know "who is commanding the British forces
in the campaign against the Jebus" (which she spells "Gibus")?
_Mr. Punch_ is glad to inform his estimable correspondent that the
principal officers commanding in the Gibus Campaign are Generals
WIDE-AWAKE, BILLICOCK, JIMCROW, POTT, and BELTOPPER. Their strategical
movements are worthy of the First Nap.

* * * * *

CONSIDERATE.--Arrangements are to be made for all Standing Committees
in future to sit at certain hours. "For this relief, much thanks," as
WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE, M.P., observed.

* * * * *

[Illustration: RECIPROCAL.

_Sporting Gentleman._ "WELL, SIR, I'M VERY PLEASED TO HAVE MADE YOUR
ACQUAINTANCE, AND HAD THE OPPORTUNITY OF HEARING A CHURCHMAN'S VIEWS
ON THE QUESTION OF TITHES. OF COURSE, AS A COUNTRY LANDOWNER, I'M
INTERESTED IN CHURCH MATTERS, AND--"

_The Parson._ "QUITE SO--DELIGHTED, I'M SURE. ER--BY THE BYE, COULD
YOU TELL ME _WHA