orefend I should
be guilty of either indiscretion in the Imperial Operatorial presence.
Thus much at present.

_Friday._--"It's the smiles of its AUGUSTUS and the heat of its
July"--adapted quotation from "Old Song." "I cannot sing the old
song"--except under a sense of the deepest and most unpardonable
provocation; and when I do!!--_Cave canem, ruat coelum!_ I bring down
the house as Madame DELILAH's SAMSON did. To-night _Manon_ is indeed
warmly welcomed. "A nice Opera," says a young lady, fanning herself.
"I wish it were an iced Opera," groans WAGSTAFF, re-issuing one of
his earliest side-splitters. M. VAN DYCK strong as the weak _Des
Grieux_, but Madame MRAVINA apparently not strong enough. "What made
author-chap think of calling her _Manon_?" asks languid person in
Stalls. WAGSTAFF, revived after an iced B.-and-S., is equal to the
occasion. "Such a bad lot, you know--regular man-catcher; hooked a
_man on_, then, when he was done with, hooked another man on. Reason
for name evident, see?" The _Cavalleria Rusticana_ is the favourite
for Derby Night. All right up to now, Sir DRURIOLANUS.

* * * * *

TENNER SONG FOR DERBY DAY.--"_He's got it on!_"

* * * * *

[Illustration: WHAT OUR ARTIST (THE SMALL AND SUSCEPTIBLE ONE) HAS TO
PUT UP WITH.

_Miss Binks._ "PRAY, MR. TITMOUSE, WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DRAW SUCH
IMMENSELY TALL WOMEN?"

_Our Artist._ "WELL, MISS BINKS, I SUPPOSE IT'S BECAUSE I'M SUCH A
TINY LITTLE MAN MYSELF. CONTRAST, YOU SEE!"

_Miss Binks._ "AH, YES, CONTRAST! THAT IS HOW WE TINY LITTLE WOMEN
ALWAYS ATTRACT ALL THE FINE TALL MEN! THAT'S HOW _WE_ SCORE!"

_Our Artist._ "EXACTLY. I ONLY WISH TO GOODNESS YOU'D ATTRACT THAT
VERY FINE TALL MAN AWAY FROM MISS JONES--THEN _I_ MIGHT HAVE A CHANCE,
PERHAPS!"]

* * * * *

A VERY "DARK HORSE."

["The Country knows ... what it is we desire to do. What the
Right Hon. Gentleman (Mr. GLADSTONE) desires to do no human
being knows. If we have done our part, as we have done, to
clear the issues, all we can ask him is to do his part, to
lay before the electorate of this country in the same plain,
unmistakable outline, the policy which he desires to see
adopted."--_Mr. Balfour on Second Reading of Irish Local
Government Bill._]

SCENE--_The Paddock, before the Great Race. Rising Young
Jockey_, ARTHUR BALFOUR, _mounted on the Crack