yayana lays it
down that whenever it is possible a man should always act himself in
these matters, and it is only when such is impracticable, or impossible,
that female messengers should be employed. As for the saying that women
who act and talk boldly and freely are to be won by the personal efforts
of the man, and that women who do not possess those qualities are to be
got at by female messengers, it is only a matter of talk.

Now when a man acts himself in the matter he should first of all make
the acquaintance of the woman he loves in the following manner.

1st. He should arrange to be seen by the woman either on a natural or
special opportunity. A natural opportunity is when one of them goes to
the house of the other, and a special opportunity is when they meet
either at the house of a friend, or a caste-fellow, or a minister, or a
physician, as also on the occasion of marriage ceremonies, sacrifices,
festivals, funerals, and garden parties.

2nd. When they do meet, the man should be careful to look at her in such
a way as to cause the state of his mind to be made known to her; he
should pull about his moustache, make a sound with his nails, cause his
own ornaments to tinkle, bite his lower lip, and make various other
signs of that description. When she is looking at him he should speak
to his friends about her and other women, and should show to her his
liberality and his appreciation of enjoyments. When sitting by the side
of a female friend he should yawn and twist his body, contract his
eyebrows, speak very slowly as if he were weary, and listen to her
indifferently. A conversation having two meanings should also be carried
on with a child or some other person, apparently having regard to a
third person, but really having reference to the woman he loves, and in
this way his love should be made manifest under the pretext of referring
to others rather than to herself. He should make marks that have
reference to her, on the earth with his nails, or with a stick, and
should embrace and kiss a child in her presence, and give it the mixture
of betel nut and betel leaves with his tongue, and press its chin with
his fingers in a caressing way. All these things should be done at the
proper time and in proper places.

3rd. The man should fondle a child that may be sitting on her lap, and
give it something to play with, and also take the same back again.
Conversation with respect to the child may also be held with her,