ghty nigh three hours yet,' says Colonel Bud, 'and enduring
of that time all we got to do is to get one of them Hightower deligates
deef, dumb and blind drunk--so drunk he won't never git back to answer
roll-call; and if he does, won't know his own name if he heered it. We
will simply appint a committee of one, composed of some gen'elman from
amongst our midst of acknowledged capacity and experience, to accomplish
this here undertaking, and likewise also at the same time we will pick
out some accessible deligate in the opposition and commission said
committee of one to put said opposition deligate out of commission by
means of social conversation and licker between the present time and the
hour of 4 P.M. By so doing victory will perch on our banners, and there
can't be no claim of underhand work or fraud from the other side. It'll
all be according to the ethics made and purvided in such emergencies.'

"Right off everybody seen Colonel Bud had the right idee, and he put the
suggestion in the form of a motion and it carried unanimous. Colonel Bud
stated that it now devolved upon the caucus to name the committee of
one. And of course we all said that Colonel Bud was the very man for the
place hisse'f; there wasn't none of us qualified like him for sich a
job. Everybody was bound to admit that. But Colonel Bud said much as he
appreciated the honor and high value his colleagues put on his humble
abilities, he must, purforce, sacrifice pussonal ambition in the
intrusts of his esteemed friend, Major Zach Taylor Simms. As manager of
the campaign he must remain right there on the ground to see which way
the cat was going to jump--and be ready to jump with her. So, if the
caucus would kindly indulge him for one moment moah he would nominate
for the post of honor and responsibility as noble a Dimocrat, as true a
Kintuckian and as chivalrous a gen'elman as ever wore hair. And with
all the requisited qualifications and gifts, too.

"Needless to state he referred to that sterling leader of Fulman
County's faithful cohorts, Captain Stonewall Jackson Bugg, Esquire.

"And so everybody voted for Stony. We knowed of course that while Stony
Bugg had both talents and education he warn't no sich genius as Colonel
Bud Crittenden when it came to storing away licker; yet so far as the
record showed he never had been waterlooed by anybody. And we couldn't
ask no more than that. Stony was all hoped up and proud at being
selected.

"Then there