cus, him being not only manager
of Major Zach Taylor Simms' campaign but likewise chairman of the
district committee. Colonel Bud rapped for order and made a speech. He
said the paramountest issue was how to nominate Major Simms on that
there next ballot. Said they'd done trying buying off members of the
opposition and other regular methods without no success whatsomever.
Said the Chair would now be glad to hear suggestions from any gen'elman
present.

"So Morg Holladay he got up and moved the Chair to appoint a committee
of one or more to shoot up some deligate or, if desired, deligates, in
the other crowd. But the Colonel said no. We wuz in a strange town, fur
removed from the time-honored institutions of home, and the police mout
be hosstile. Customs differed in different towns. Whil'st shooting up of
a man for purely political purposes mout be accepted as necessary and
proper in one place; then agin it mout lead to trouble, sich as
lawsuits, in another. And so on.

"Morg he got up again and said how he recognized the wisdom of the
Chair's remarks. Then he moved to amend his motion by substituting the
word 'kidnapping' for 'shooting up.' Said as a general proposition he
favored shooting up, not being familiar with kidnapping; in fact not
knowing none of the rules, but was willing to try kidnapping as an
experiment. But Colonel Bud 'peared to be even more dead set, ef
possible, agin kidnapping than agin shooting. He advanced the thought
that shooting was recognized as necessary under proper conditions and
safeguards, ever'where, but that kidnapping was looked on as bordering
on the criminal even in the case of a child. How much more so, then, in
the case of a growed-up adult man and Dimocrat?

"Nobody couldn't think of nothing else then, but Colonel Bud 'lowed we
was bleeged to do something. There warn't no telling, he said, when
another one of our deligates would get to craving dainties and
gormandize hisself with a lot of them fancy vittles the same as Breck
Calloway had done, and go home all quiled up like a blue racer in a
pa'tridge nest. Finally Colonel Bud he said he had a suggestion to
advance his ownse'f, and we all set up and taken notice, knowing there
wasn't no astuter political leader in the State and maybe none so
astuted.

"Colonel Bud he said he was shamed to admit that the scheme hadn't
suggested itself to him or ary other gen'elman present before now--it
was so plum doggone simple.

"'We got mi