things, like the sack race and the egg
and spoon race, went on in the middle. We used potatoes instead of eggs,
but whether there was a system of handicapping according to the weight and
age of the potatoes I was unable to determine. I do feel confident,
however, that that girl with the yellow hair and the striped skirt to whom
the first prize was quite incorrectly awarded by the judges had put some
treacle--But there, I will be magnanimous.

The postman was a great success. He had acquired a light suit of overalls,
on which he had painted three large red stars, using, I hope, Government
red ink, and with black cheeks and a floured nose footed it solemnly to the
music of the Framford Comrades' Band. He also ran underneath the lath at
the high jump and tumbled down in trying to put the shot. All round the
field children could be heard asking, "What _is_ he doing, Mummy?" and,
when they were told, "Hush, dears, he's doing it for a _joke_," their eyes
danced and they tried for a moment to control their emotion and then broke
into shrieks of laughter. All the difficult open events which were not won
by a young man in puce-coloured shorts were won by a friend of his in a
yellow shirt. I have an idea that these two young men came from Framford
and go round doing this kind of thing and getting prizes for it, just as
Mr. Bates goes round selling his beef.

Amidst all this fun and frolic, if you went up to the top of one of the
sandhills and looked across the blue bay to the little seaport opposite,
you saw that it was also emptied of its folk this pious afternoon and was
in fact holding aquatic revels. Little fishing-boats with brown sails were
turning about a given mark. There were rowing races and diving competitions
and a greasy pole and very probably a comic man dressed up as a buoy.

I have pondered deeply over these twin feasts, and it has occurred to me
that, whilst land sports and water sports are both of them very good things
in their way, neither expresses the real genius of a maritime resort, and
also that we visitors, if we are too shy to enter with gusto into the local
games, ought to provide some suitable entertainment in return. I have
compiled therefore a programme of a Grand Beach Gala for next week, and
have had a notice put up in the post-office window inviting entries. Not
many people buy stamps at the post-office, but, as you get bacon and spades
and buckets and jam there, it is a pretty popular emporium, a