be permitted to mention that he has himself given
currency to a number of capital stories.

* * * * *

"It is to be hoped that, now that their unhappy country is in the
throes of the most ghastly terror of her history, the irreconcilable
elements in the Irish nation will see an all-compelling reason for
exercising the demon of strife.--_Indian Paper._

Unfortunately they seem to be doing so only too freely.

* * * * *

ANOTHER WAR TO END WAR.

[An address to the League of Nations on learning that it is considering
a scheme to tackle the rat plague.]

Not yours to lure the lands of Cross or Crescent
Back from Bellona where she bangs her drum,
Nor make this Hades, anyhow at present,
The New Elysium.

For still the sword gleams mightier than the pen in
Europe, you'll notice, at the Bolshies' beck;
Confess now that the case of Mr. LENIN
Gets you right in the neck.

So I have read with wondrous satisfaction,
Feeling in this your hands are far from tied,
That you propose to emulate the action
Of _Hamelin's Piper (Pied)_.

And, though the task prove hard and ever harder,
From your crusade, I trust, you'll never cease
Till you've restored good-will to every larder
And to each pantry peace.

Then, when the cocksure critic in his crudeness
Pops you the question while his back he pats,
"What have you done?" you'll find at last, thank goodness,
One ready answer--"Rats!"

* * * * *

"Puccinni's three one-act operas, erroneously described as a
typtich...."--_Evening Paper._

But what about the spelling of "Puccinni"? We fear our contemporary has,
after all, been caught triptyching.

* * * * *

HOW TO BUILD A HOUSE.

The only way to build a house properly is to employ an architect to build
it for you. All the best houses are built by architects--any architect will
tell you that. But of course you will always be allowed to say that _you_
built it, so it will come to the same thing.

The walls of an architect's office are covered with drawings of enormous
public buildings which the architect has erected in every capital of
Europe. There are also a few of the statelier homes of England which he has
put up in his spare time.

While you are waiting you compar