for the _Tag_, by land and main,
When the Monarchy comes to its own again.

Surely tho wind of it, faint but sweet,
The Old Man sniffed in his Dutch retreat;
Surely it gave his pulse a jog
As he went for his thirteen thousandth log,
Possibly causing the axe to jam
When he thought of his derelict Potsdam,
Of his orb mislaid and his head's deflation,
And visions arose of a Restoration.
(If not for himself, it might be done
For LITTLE WILLIE or WILLIE'S son).

Alas for the chances of child or sire!
The _coup_ went phut, for the KAPP missed fire.

O.S.

* * * * *

A FLAT TO LET.

It was twelve o'clock (noon) and I was sitting over the fire in our
squalid lodgings reading the attractive advertisements of country
mansions in a weekly journal. I had just decided on a delightful Tudor
manor-house with every modern convenience, a nice little park and
excellent fishing and shooting, when Betty burst upon me like a
whirlwind.

Her face was flushed and a fierce light shone in her usually mild
blue eyes. She looked like a Maenad or the incarnation of Victory at a
bargain sale.

"Come on," she gasped, seizing me by the arm. "Hurry."

"Good heavens! Is the house on fire? My child! Let me save my child."

"Oh, do come on," cried Betty; "there's not a moment to be lost."

"But how can I come on in slippers?" I demanded. "If I may not save
the young Henry Augustus, at any rate let me put on my boots."

Betty's only reply was to drag me from the room, hustle me through the
hall, where I dexterously caught my hat from the stand in passing, and
thrust me into the street.

"I've got a flat," she panted. "That is, I've got it if we're quick
enough. Hi, taxi!"

"But, my dear," I remonstrated as the taxi-driver, cowed by the look
in her eye, drew up to the kerb, "if we take a taxi we shan't have
anything left to pay for the flat."

"Victory Mansions, Trebarwith Road. Drive fast!" shouted Betty as she
pushed me into the cab.

"Now you've done it," I said bitterly. "Do you know I've only five
pounds ten on me at the moment? We shall lose the flat while we're
quarrelling with the driver."

"Oh, dear," cried Betty, "can't you see that this is serious? It was a
wonderful piece of luck. I was passing the mansions and I happened to
look up just as someone was sticking up a notice, 'Flat to Let,' in
one of the windows. There was a beast of a man on the other side of
th