* * * *

'Wanted, a Horse for its keep. Excellent cuisine."--_The Times
of Ceylon_.

_A la_ cart, we presume.

* * * * *

"A roof garden for cats is included in the scheme for
the extension of the premises of Our Dumb Friends'
League."--_Evening Paper_.

We have heard the nocturnal cat on the tiles called many names, but
never a "dumb friend."

* * * * *

"The Police announce that dogs without dollars found wandering
after 10 p.m. are liable to be destroyed."--_Hong Kong Paper_.

We understand, however, that in China dogs are almost invariably
provided with taels.

* * * * *

[Illustration: TRIALS OF THE FISH-TRADE.

"CLOTHES, MY DEAR! DON'T MENTION CLOTHES. YOU OUGHT TO BE IN THE FISH
LINE, WHY, I RUNS THROUGH A SET O' FURS IN ABOUT A MONTH!"

* * * * *

A NOTE TO NATURE,

_accounting for my previous silence in an unusually temperate March
and also presenting an ultimatum._

Ye great brown hares, grown madder through the Spring!
Ye birds that utilise your tiny throttles
To make the archways of the forest ring
Or go about your easy house-hunting!
Ye toads! ye axolotls!

Ye happy blighters all, that squeal and squat
And fly and browse where'er the mood entices,
Noting in every hedge or woodland grot
The swelling surge of sap, but noting not
The rise in current prices!

But chiefly you, ye birds, whose jocund note
(Linnets and larks and jays and red-billed ousels)
Oft in those happier springtides now remote
Caused me to catch the lyre and clear my throat
After some coy refusals!

Ay, and would cause me now--I have such bliss
Seeing the star-set vale, the pearls, the agates
Sown on the wintry boughs by Flora's kiss--
Only the trouble in my case is this,
I do not feed on maggots.

Could I but share your diet cheap and rude,
Your simple ways in trees and copses lurking;
But no, I need a pipe and lots of food,
A comfortable chair on which to brood--
Silence! the bard is working.

Could I but know that freedom from all care
That comes, I say, from gratis sets of suitings
And homes that need not premium nor repair
Except with sticks and mud and moss and hair,
My! there would be some flutings.

So and so only would the ivory rod
St