ne in by what was little
better, when you come to think of it, than a mere postscript.

Please understand that there was no talk of discharging me; no talk
of demobilising me; no talk even of disembodying me. Without any
reflection on my conduct and merely upon the grounds that, not being
P.S.C., I could not be regarded as quite right in the head, they
intimated their intention of vacating my appointment by the simple
process of an advertisement in the fashionable columns of _The London
Gazette_.

"What happens next?" I asked.

"You will return to regimental duty," they said.

"But there isn't any regiment," I pointed out triumphantly, "therefore
there won't be any duty."

They didn't seem to mind that, and for some time I wondered why. Then
a thought occurred to me.

"But here, I say, what about my pay?"

"Ah!" said they unhelpfully....

And that, my dear Charles, is why, if you keep your eye on the
journals of (say) the Summer of 1925, you will read in the Stop-press
Column an urgent telegram from the W.O.: "On April 1st, 1920, the
following relinquishes his appointment

(Remaining, however,
Yours always), HENRY."

* * * * *

ANOTHER IMPENDING APOLOGY.

"MOTHERS' UNION.-- ... A helpful discussion followed on 'How
to Deal with Unworthy Members.' There were about 50
present."--_Parish Magazine_.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Old Lady_. "WILL YOU PLEASE PUT ME DOWN AT THE SAME
PLACE AS YOU DID LAST FRIDAY WEEK?"]

* * * * *

THE PRACTICE OF THE CREWS.

(_Ballad after C.S.C._)

The reporter aired his aquatic lore
(_Popply water in Corney Reach_,)
A thing he had yearly essayed before;
And a rowing jargon obscured his speech.

The coach he coached with a megaphone
(_Crabtree, Craven and Chiswick Eyot_)
Till the crew were prone to emit a groan,
And the Cox said nothing but "Bow, you're late."

The Stroke he quickened to thirty-four
(_In the first half-minute struck seventeen_)
Some clocks returned it a trifle more,
Which wasn't so good as it might have been.

The towpath critic he shook his head
(_Thornycroft's, where they began to row_):
"Hung over the stretcher" was what he said,
And "missed the beginning," and "hands too slow."

The towpath critic, whoe'er he be
(_A tug and some barges blocked the way_),
For thirty odd