h the business.

The fifth and sixth rounds were marked by the departure of most of the
spectators, and in the end a draw was the only possible verdict.

"But what about the plug, old scout?" asked Percival, as they wandered
back to their quarters.

"As referee," answered Binnie, "I gave a draw; as Battalion Boxing
Board of Control I order the match to be re-fought in six months'
time, to give the men a chance to get into condition; and meanwhile as
stakeholder I continue to hold the five francs and the bath-plug."

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Profiteer_ (_to M.F.H._). "LOOK 'ERE!--THIS IS THE
THIRD TIME I'VE BEEN OUT WITH YOUR CROWD, AN' Y' 'AVEN'T CAUGHT A
FOX. BEST THING _YOU_ CAN DO IS TO GIMME BACK ME 'SUB' AN' SELL YER
BLOOMIN' DOGS!"]

* * * * *

[ILLUSTRATION: _BLUSTEROUS PERSON_ (_WHO HAS FORCED A CIGAR ON
UNWILLING CLUB ACQUAINTANCE_), "THERE MY BOY--YOU DON'T OFTEN SMOKE A
THING LIKE THAT! THAT'S SOMETHING LIKE A CIGAR, EH?"

_The Victim_. "YES--SOMETHING. WHAT IS IT?"]

* * * * *

THE TRUE SONG-STUFF.

[A writer in an evening paper describes a certain song as
being sung, "sometimes with a lump in the throat and a tear in
the eye," all over England.]

If you wish to succeed as a writer
Of songs that undoubtedly count,
By making the atmosphere brighter,
The moral barometer mount,
Then be it your aim and endeavour to try
For the lump in the throat and the tear in the eye.

SCRIABINE and STRAVINSKY may flatter
The ears of the brainy _elite_,
But the musical numbers that matter
Express what is simple and sweet;
You may easily miss, by aspiring too high,
Both the lump in the throat and the tear in the eye.

Though cynics conspire to repress it,
To sentiment, "heavenly link"
(As the Bard of Savoy would address it),
With joy "I eternally drink;"
For it gives us the key, which no science can buy,
To the lump in the throat and the tear in the eye.

But, if you are anti-Victorian
And, scorning the coo of the dove,
Hold the roar of the primitive Saurian
The final expression of love,
You may have, if you choose, an alternative shy
At a tear in the throat and a lump in the eye.

* * * * *

"For 70 years Regent Street has basked in sunshine, and now
it is to be cast into shadow again. It wi