sides," writes a
Nature correspondent. On the other hand the unmistakable bubbling note
of the mint-sauce will not be heard for another month or so.

***

Will the A.S.C. private who in 1917 was ordered to take a mule to
Sutton Coldfield please note that the animal has been sighted in
California still chewing an army tunic, but the badges are missing?

***

"So many letters are being lost in the post nowadays," states a
daily paper, "that drastic action should be taken in the matter." We
understand that the POSTMASTER-GENERAL has expressed his willingness
to be searched.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Hygienist_. "FEELING THE COLD, EH? AHA--LOOK AT ME. I
DON'T KNOW WHAT COLD IS."

_Normal Individual_. "THEN N-NATURALLY YOU D-DON'T FEEL IT."]

* * * * *

A VULNERABLE SPOT.

"Lady, a word--but oh, beware!
And prithee do not slight it--
If you will have your back so bare,
Someone is sure to bite it."

* * * * *

"An official of the Coal Controller's Department said that
everything possible would be done to relieve the situation.

'No stone will be left unturned,' he said, 'to ease the
position.'"--_Daily Paper_.

This accounts, no doubt, for the stuff in our last half-hundredweight.

* * * * *

A JUNKER INTERLUDE.

Once more the Militant Mode recurs
With clank of sabre and clink of spurs;
Once more the long grey cloaks adorn
The bellicose backs of the high-well-born;
Once more to the click of martial boots
Junkers exchange their grave salutes,
Taking the pavement, large with side,
Shoulders padded and elbows wide;
And if a civilian dares to mutter
They boost him off and he bites the gutter.

Down by the Brandenburger Thor
Kitchens are worked by cooks of war;
Loyal moustaches cease to sag,
Leaping for joy of the old war-flag;
Drums are beating and bugles blare
And passionate bandsmen rip the air;
Prussia's original ardour rallies
At the sound of _Deutschland ueber alles_,
And warriors slap their fighting pants
To the tune _Heil dir im Siegeskranz_.

Life, in a word, recalls the phase
Of the glorious Hohenzollern days.
What if a War's meanwhile occurred
And talk of a humbling Peace been heard?
Treaties are meant to be torn in two
And wars are made to be fought anew.
_Hoch_!