the Puck we are beauties!"

We reached the dining-room unperceived; but who can describe the agony
of my aunt Kate, when she clapped her eyes upon five such close-clipped
scarecrows. She vowed vengence of all sorts and descriptions against
the impudent, unnatural, shameful monster! Terms which Mikey Brian, in
the back-ground, appropriated to himself, and with the utmost
difficulty restrained his rising wrath from breaking out.

"What," continued aunt Kate, "what does he call this?"

"It's the thoro'bred Currah-cut, ma'am," said Bob, with one of his
peculiar glances at Mikey and the rest.

"And mighty cool wearing, I'll be bail," muttered Mikey.

"Does he call that hair-cutting?" screamed my aunt.

"That, and nothing but it," quietly retorted Bob, passing his hand over
his head; "you can't deny the cutting, ma'am."

"The young gentlemen look elegant," said Mikey.

"I'm told it's all the go, ma'am," said Bob.

"Wait!" said my aunt, with suppressed rage; "wait till I go to Kells."

This did not happen for six weeks; our aunt's anger was mollified as
our locks were once more human. Upon upbraiding "Tony Knowlan" the
murder came out. A hearty laugh ensured our pardon, and Mikey Brian's;
and the story of the "thoro'bred Currah-cut" was often told, as the
means by which "we all got a fi'penny bit a-piece."--FUSBOS.

* * * * *

There is a portrait of a person so like him, that, the other day, a
friend who called took no notice whatever of the man, further than
saying he was a good likeness, but asked the portrait to dinner, and
only found out his mistake when he went up to shake hands with it at
parting.

* * * * *

An American hearing that there was a fire in his neighbourhood, and
that it might possibly consume his house, took the precaution to _bolt_
his own door; that he might be, so far at least, beforehand with the
_devouring_ element.

* * * * *

BAD EITHER WAY.

The peace, happiness, and prosperity of England, are threatened by
_Peel_; in Ireland, the picture is reversed: the safety of that country
is endangered by _Re-peal_. It would be hard to say which is worst.

* * * * *

A CONSTANT PAIR.

Jane is a constant wench (so Sibthorp says);
For in how _many_ shops you see _Jean stays_!

* * * * *

A COUNT AND HIS SCHNEIDER.

T