member for Thirsk, which are intended for the exhibition at the Royal
Academy. If Folliot Duff's account of their dastardly conduct in the
Waldegrave affair be correct, we cannot _imagine_ two gentlemen more
worthy the labours of the

[Illustration: HANGING COMMITTEE.]

* * * * *

NEW PARLIAMENTARY RETURNS.

We have been informed, on authority upon which we have reason to place
much reliance, that several distinguished members of the upper and
lower houses of Parliament intend moving for the following important
returns early in the present session:--

IN THE LORDS.

Lord Palmerston will move for a return of all the _papillote_ papers
contained in the red box at the Foreign Office.

The Duke of Wellington will move for a return of the Tory taxes.

The Marquis of Downshire will move for a return of his political
honesty.

Lord Melbourne will move for a return of place and power.

The Marquis of Westmeath will move for a return of the days when he was
young.

The Marquis Wellesley will move for a return of the pap-spoons
manufactured in England for the last three years.

IN THE COMMONS.

Sir Francis Burdett will move for a return of his popularity in
Westminster.

Lord John Russell will move that the return of the Tories to office is
extremely inconvenient.

Captain Rous will move for a return of the number of high-spirited
Tories who were conveyed on stretchers to the different station-houses,
on the night of the ever-to-be-remembered Drury-lane dinner.

Sir E.L. Bulwer will move for a return of all the half-penny ballads
published by Catnach and Co. during the last year.

Morgan O'Connell will move for a return of all the brogues worn by the
bare-footed peasantry of Ireland.

Colonel Sibthorp will move for a return of his wits.

Peter Borthwick will move for a return of all the kettles convicted of
singing on the Sabbath-day.

Sir Robert Peel will move for a return of all the ladies of the
palace--to the places from whence they came.

Ben D'Israeli will move for a return of all the hard words in Johnson's
Dictionary.

* * * * *

RATHER OMINOUS!

The _Sunday Times_ states, that "several of the _heads_ of the
Conservative party held a conference at _Whitehall_ Gardens!" _Heads_
and _conferences_ have been cut short enough at the same place ere now!

* * * * *

HEAVY LIGHTNESS.

A joke