You would not have spoken to me?

_She._ Well, no--not exactly that. But--

_He._ You have no better excuse ready. Quite.

_She._ How rude you are! You know I didn't quite mean that.

_He._ No, not quite. Quite.

_She._ By the way, do you know what time it is?

_He._ Well, from the rooms getting less crowded, I fancy it must be
the supper hour. May I not take you down?

_She._ You are most kind! But do you know the way?

_He._ I think so. You see, I have learned the geography of the place
fairly well.

_She._ How fortunate! But if I accept your kindness, I think I should
have the honour of knowing your name.

_He._ Certainly; my name is SMITH.

_She._ Any relation of the people who are giving the dance?

_He._ Well, yes. I am giving the dance myself--or rather, my wife is.

_She._ Oh, this is quite too delightful! For now you can tell me what
to avoid.

_He._ Certainly; and I have the pleasure of speaking to--?

_She._ You must ask my _chaperon_ for my name. You know, introductions
are not the fashion.

_He._ And your _chaperon_ is--?

_She._ Somewhere or other. In the meanwhile, if you will allow me?

_He_ (_offering his arm_). Quite!

[_Exeunt to supper._

* * * * *

MR. PUNCH'S UP-TO-DATE POETRY FOR CHILDREN.

NO. 1.--"LITTLE MISS MUFFIT."

[Illustration]

Little Miss MUFFIT
Reposed on a tuffet,
Consuming her curds and whey--
She had dozens of dolls,
And some cash in Consols
Put by for a rainy day.

But though calm and content
While she drew Three per Cent.,
The Conversion unsettled her mien,
And she said, "Though they've thrown us
This Five-Shilling Bonus,
I cannot brook Two pounds fifteen!"

Comes a Broker outsider--
Who chanced to have spied her,
And "Options" and "Pools" he extols--
When he pictures the profit
(Commission small off it),
She cheerfully sells her Consols.

Then she starts operations
With fierce speculations
In Stocks of all manner and shape;
But whatever she chooses
Her "cover" she loses,
And sees it run off on the tape.

So alas! for Miss MUFFIT--
She now has to rough it,
And never gets jam with her tea;
While the Bucket-shop Dealer
Employs a four-wheeler,
Regardless of _L._ _S._ and _D._

* * * * *

"THE FROGS" AT OXFORD.

SCE