ashing even if she 'ad to light 'er fire with the
family dresser. She said she was desolated; she 'adn't sufficient coal to
take the chill off a mouchoir. I thought of trying to borrer a sack for 'er
from the quarter bloke, but our relations 'ave never been the same since
the time I took my weekly ration of 'Pink Princesses' back an' arsked 'im
to change 'em for cigarettes with a bit o' tobacco in.

"After she'd gone I took a kit inventory 'an found we was down to our last
clean collar, an' we looked like bein' a bit grubby in the matter of
pyjamas. I went a walk to the canteen to think it over, an' on my way
Madame's lad came up an' said 'is team 'ad an important match for two days
later an' could I possibly oblige 'em with a football. Being a sportsman--I
take a franc chance in the camp football sweep every week--I said I'd try
what I could do, knowin' of a ball which me an' the other batmen punt about
in our rare hintervals of leisure. But then the thought of that washing
that wasn't washed came into my mind.

"'See 'ere, Meredith,' I says. 'Je voo donneray a ball si votre mere does
our washing toot sweet.'"

"'E looked blue at this an' said they couldn't get fuel nohow.

"'Compree scrounge?' says I.

"It seems 'e did. It seems scrounging for fuel 'ad reached such a pitch in
the village that people took their backyard fences in at night, 'an they
'ad posted a policeman on the station to prevent 'em sawing away the
waiting-room. But our washing 'ad to be done, 'an I thought if I got the
whole of this football team scrounging they might find something as
everyone else 'ad overlooked. So I pretended to be indifferink.

"'Very well,' says I. 'San fairy ann. Napoo washing--napoo ball.'

"That set 'em to work. Next day little boys were scraping the village over
like fowls in a farmyard, getting a chip 'ere an' a shaving there, an'
making themselves such a nuisance that there was talk of calling the
gendarmerie out. They would 'ave done, too, only he'd laid down for a nap
an' left strict orders 'e wasn't to be disturbed. Then they slipped into
the Camp, trying to lay nefarious 'ands on empty ration boxes, but the Camp
police spotted 'em an' chivied them off. I never seen our police so
exhausted as they were at the end of that day.

"'I can't think what's taken the little varmints,' said the Provost-
Sergeant. 'It ain't the Fifth of November.'

"On the whole it wasn't a good day's 'unting, but this morning I was wait