ht--"

"Did the taxi go on chugging?" I asked.

"Shut up. They decided eventually that if a bachelor made a written
proposal and was rejected he was entitled to have his case tried before a
jury of women, who should decide whether it was a reasonable offer and one
that should normally have been accepted. If they found that it was, he was
to be exempt from further efforts. The Bill was accordingly drafted, and
carried easily, and the sequel no doubt you have guessed. On the day after
it became law the beautiful young Premiere received a neatly-typed offer of
marriage from Edward Oburn. They met; there was a scene of the utmost
beauty and pathos; they became engaged, and the Coalition Government of the
middle of 1950 began."

"How long did it go on?" I inquired.

"Until the day of revolution," said Charles pleasantly, refilling his foul
old briar--"the great day when Fleet Street ran with blood and the
pipe-smokers put up barricades in the Strand, and Piccadilly became a
reeking shambles. Have you got a match?"

EVOE.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Knowledgeable Female_ (_interpreting costumes to the
crowd_). "AND 'IM--'E'S A ESQUIMOKE."]

* * * * *

"The chauffeur, who sprang into the vehicle as it started off, was
injured when it collided with a lamppost. Both were removed to
hospital.--_Daily Paper._

It is hoped that when the lamp-post has recovered it may throw some light
on the accident.

* * * * *

"'In a few more fleeting years'

The ---- will still be Earning Money for its owner when other cars have
caused their owners to become but a memory."--_Provincial Paper._

The advertiser ought not, we think, to have suppressed the names of these
murderous machines.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE KINDEST CUT OF ALL.

WELSH WIZARD. "I NOW PROCEED TO CUT THIS MAP INTO TWO PARTS AND PLACE THEM
IN THE HAT. AFTER A SUITABLE INTERVAL THEY WILL BE FOUND TO HAVE COME
TOGETHER OF THEIR OWN ACCORD--(_ASIDE_)--AT LEAST LET'S HOPE SO; I'VE NEVER
DONE THIS TRICK BEFORE."]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

[Illustration: MR. ASQUITH SITS UP AND TAKES NOTICE.

"THE MANCHESTER SCHOOL OF POLITICS IS DEAD AND THERE IS NO GOING BACK TO
IT."--_Mr. NEIL MACLEAN._]

_Monday, March 1st._--Calendar note (extracted from _The Wee Free
Almanack_):