will pick up--even as partner
failed to do--what I, who write, am driving at.

Remembering how dear old W.G.--in those halcyon days when Gloucester was
worthy of the cheese whereof she is now so chary a producer--used to score
with that heavy cut between point and cover, I too, greatly daring, cut it
and laid it (the ball, not the cheese) dead. _De mortuis_ ... For assuredly
it _was_ good.

The one adornment of this episode should have been a quotation from
ARISTOPHANES. It is not, however, given to all men always to remember. _Non
cuivis_, in fact.

OF IMPACT.

It was at the ensuing consumption of Bohea, or of its substitute as
provided by a paternal Government, that one of the party, with the rashness
of a _d'Artagnan_, reverted to the question of weight of clubs. ABE
MITCHELL'S driver, of course, gave him a handle; but himself he, unaided,
gave away. For it is not to be boasted by every man that he has been
blessed with an _Alma Mater_, and that consequently logic is to him even as
hair and teeth--save only that these twain be not false. For, said this
unhappy wight, increase the weight and the corollary is length increased.

Then arose a certain justly eminent author, whose list of tales is equalled
only by the tale of his handicap, and demonstrably discounted weight
without pace.

It was then agreed that a test _ad hominem_ should be applied, and that the
result of such test should determine the individuality of him who should
settle with our Ganymede. Partner and I pushed--_gemitu et fremitu_--a
bulky sideboard against a paper ball. The inertia of the object was barely
overcome.

Then the man of letters flicked it across the room with finger and thumb.
And the original theorist became the poorer by the commercial estimate of
four teas and jam.

PUTTING.

It has been said elsewhere, yet may not therefore be wholly lacking in
elemental veracity, that putting is the devil. Systems more numerous than
dactyls and spondees in Classic verse, patent putters outnumbered only by
howlers in Oxford responsions, bear witness to this graceless statement.
Quite lately in these columns have I confessed--_pulvere cineribusque_--
that our side had twice failed at the inconsiderable distance of two yards,
even after discarding the small thirty-two. But that further confession
will be forthcoming is now wildly and preposterously problematical. For I
have discovered the true exorcism for demoniac influence in putting. It i