hly of women; Paul was bitter against them; all
the sins and troubles of the world were laid upon their delicate and
beautiful shoulders. In Revelation I found no mention whatever of
Woman in the life of the Resurrection.

All this hurt me. What profound injustice--to suffer so much and to
receive no recognition whatever whilst men walked off with all the
joys after leading very questionable lives! Why continue to struggle
to please God when His interest in me would so soon be over? I
went through very real and great spiritual sufferings, and
temptations to throw myself again solely into world-interests, to
console myself with the here and now, for I had the means: it was all
to my hand. I swayed to and fro: at one time I felt very hard towards
God, terribly hurt by this love-betrayal. But when I looked at the
beauties of Nature and the glories of that endless sky, ah, my heart
melted with tenderness and admiration for the marvellous Maker of
it all. Truly, He was worthy of any sacrifice upon my part. If my
poor, tiny, suffering life afforded Him amusement, I was willing to
have it so. After all--for what wretched, ugly, and miserable men
women frequently sacrificed themselves without getting any other
reward for it than neglect and indifference. How much better to
sacrifice oneself to the All-Perfect, All-Beautiful God!

I finally resigned myself entirely and completely to this point of
view, and, having done so, I thus addressed, in all reverence and
earnestness, the Deity:--

"Almighty God, if it is Thy Will to blot out Woman from Paradise I
most humbly assure Thee of this--Man will miss her sorely; and
Thou Thyself, Almighty God, when Thou dost visit Paradise, wilt
miss her also!"

After this I seldom said any private prayers, for I was not of the
Acceptable Sex. But I paid a public respect to God in the church,
where I worshipped Him with profound reverence and great sadness.
But I thought of Him in my heart constantly, with all those tender,
loving, longing thoughts which are the heart's bouquet held out to
God.

Happiness for me, then, must be found entirely in this world, and I
found it in my love for my husband. Happiness was that which the
whole world was looking for; but I could not fail to notice more and
more the ridiculous picture presented by Society in its pretences of
being the means of finding this happiness. None of its ardent
devotees were "happy" people; they were excited, egotistical,
inten