Y

Drapes so decently--the MARKS
Are on me; these tall young sparks
Squeeze enough to kill a
Little man, who sees no WATTS
Past their lofty chimney-pots,
Nor a single MILLAIS.

* * * * *

GOOD START FOR THE ACADEMICAL YEAR.--Mr. STANHOPE FORBES, A.R.A., is
a clever Painter, as everyone knows, but he is cleverer than was
thought, as he has sold his Academy Picture to the Manchester
Corporation for 1,200 guineas. STANHOPE FORBES will change his name to
STAN'UP-FOR-YOUR-PRICE FORBES, A.R.A.

* * * * *

FROM ONE OF THE WISE MEN IN THE EAST.--A traveller, doing a walking
tour in Egypt, from Cairo and back again, describes himself as a
"Cairopedist," and adds that it's just the place for Members of that
profession to prosper, as "Corn in Egypt" is proverbial.

* * * * *

THE PREMIER AT THE HAYMARKET LAST WEDNESDAY.--This does not mean that
Mr. GLADSTONE visited this theatre, but simply that Mr. TREE produced
a new piece, written by the O'WILDE. "Whatever be its merit or want of
merit," says JOSEPH MILLER, Q.C., "WILDE can't be tame."

* * * * *

A LIEN ON THE LEA.

AIR--"_The Bells of Shandon._"

["Mr. PEMBER, Q.C., before the Committee of the County Council
General Powers Bill, put in a claim, on behalf of the New
River and other Companies, that the water of the River Lea is
the absolute property of the Companies!"

_Daily Chronicle._]

_Is_ it, by thunder?
With solemn wonder
I'll often think of
That sounding claim;
And oft remember
How Mister PEMBER
(_He_'s a "hot member"!)
Put in the same.

On this I ponder:
Where'er I wander,
"From here to yonder,"
I'm sure to see,
Whate'er I stand on,
Wealth lays its hand on,
As on the water
Of the River Lea.

I've had _one_ mouthful.
But, though of drouth full,
I trust I'll never
Another swallow.
I've tried the tide
Of Thames, Medway, Clyde,
But unstrained Lea-water,
It licks 'em hollow.

I know that river
Set me a-shiver,
Upset my liver,
And made me ill,
When, on it punting,
Some cads, sport-hunting,
Driving into me,
Gave me a spill.

My memory, dwelling
On that ill-smelling
And muddy throatful
Revolts. Ah me!
That awful vision!
That dread collision
With the rowdy boatful
On the Ri