eing in the least the worse for it, and, secondly,
the capacity of perpetual wakefulness and clear-headedness, without
the extraneous and artificial application of wet towels round the
head. Men with such special gifts are, indeed, rare; nay, they are
demi-gods. But, if such men are to be found, no matter at what cost,
we sincerely wish they (the originators of this scheme) may get them.

* * * * *

MIXED NOTIONS.

No. IX.--PARISH COUNCILS.

(_Scene and Persons as usual._)

_Inquirer_ (_to himself, as he reads his paper_). Well, I'm dashed!
What the blue blazes does all this stuff mean?

_First Well-informed Man_ (_to_ Second W. I. M., _in a tone of pitying
good-humour, mixed with conscious superiority_). He's got started on
his usual morning puzzle.

_Inquirer_ (_with asperity_). Oh, it's all very well for you two chaps
to sneer. You're both older than I am, and, as you've been about more,
you ought to know more. Anyhow, I like to find out about things, and,
when I don't know, I ask those who do.

_First W. I. M._ (_not unkindly_). Well, well, never mind all that.
You know I don't mind telling you anything. I really didn't mean to
sneer. What's your difficulty?

_Inquirer._ It's all about this Parish Councils Bill.

_First W. I. M._ What about it?

_Inquirer_ (_hopelessly_). What does it mean? What _is_ a Parish
Councils Bill?

_First W. I. M._ Oh, well, you know, a Parish Councils Bill
is----well, it's a Bill for giving Parish Councils.

_Inquirer._ Yes--but whom are they going to give them to?

_First W. I. M._ Why, to the Parishes, of course.

_Inquirer._ Ah! (_Continues reading. A puzzled frown settles on his
face._) But why can't the Parishes make their own Councils, without
all this fuss in Parliament? Couldn't every Parish simply say, "I'm
going to have a Council," and just start it straight away?

_First W. I. M._ My dear fellow, you know nothing can be done without
an Act of Parliament.

_Inquirer._ But they call this a Bill, not an Act.

_First W. I. M._ It's only another way of saying the same thing. A
Bill or an Act--it's all one.

_Second W. I. M._ No, it isn't.

_First W. I. M._ I'll lay you a couter it is.

_Second W. I. M._ Done!

_First W. I. M._ Well, what do _you_ (_withering emphasis_) say is the
difference?

_Second W. I. M._ When the House of Commons brings anything in, it's a
Bill, and when the House of Lords does it, it's an Act. Pay