up!

_First W. I. M._ Not I. That's precisely what I meant, only you
wouldn't give me time to say it. Why, that's the A B C of politics.

_Second W. I. M._ Seems to take a lot of learning, anyway.

[_A pause._

_Inquirer_ (_returning to his point_). But look here. What have they
brought the Parish Councils Bill in for? I thought we'd all got County
Councils all over the place.

_First W. I. M._ (_slapping him warmly on the back_). My dear chap,
you've just hit the nail plumb on the right head. That's what I've
said all along. The whole country's being simply ruined with all these
blessed Councils. Every man will have to be his own Council before
long, if they go on making Councils at this rate.

_Second W. I. M._ Well, anyhow, your beautiful Conservative
Government, that you were so dashed proud of, started the business.

_First W. I. M._ (_indignantly_). I deny it.

_Second W. I. M._ Deny away. Perhaps you'll tell me that Lord
BEACONSFIELD didn't set the County Councils going?

_First W. I. M._ Ah, but those were quite different County Councils.
Why, they weren't even called Councils; they were called Boards.

_Second W. I. M._ They may _have_ been called Boards, but they're
called Councils now, and that's enough for me. Anyhow, don't you see
(_furtively consults newspaper and quotes_) that "Parish Councils
are the logical and necessary development of the scheme of County
Government left imperfect by the Conservatives"?

_First W. I. M._ No. I don't see it at all.

_Second W. I. M._ Well, then, how do you propose to root the
agricultural population in the soil? You must admit----

_First W. I. M._ I don't admit anything--at least, I won't until you
tell me how a Parish Council is going to root anybody, let alone an
agricultural labourer, in anything. There's too much mollycoddling of
these agricultural labourers, that's what I say.

_Second W. I. M._ (_doggedly_). You're always talking about
agricultural depression and hard times for those that live on the
land, and you won't lift a finger to help them when you get the
chance. If we give these chaps Parish Councils, they can all get
allotments, and then of course (_quotes again_) "we shall multiply the
productive power of the land tenfold."

_First W. I. M._ What have allotments got to do with Parish Councils?

_Second W. I. M._ Everything.

_First W. I. M._ (_triumphant_). Then how do you account for my
Uncle's coachman having an allotment at this