re appropriate, in my humble view,
When Nation nestles cheek by jowl with Nation,
And far, far cheaper too.

So, if you'd really slay Bellona's bow-wows,
Might I suggest your vicious ways should cease,
And that in future you conduct your pow-wows
Over the pipe of peace.

* * * * *

An Affectionate Diminutive.

"Lord Buxton, who retired this summer from the post of High
Commissioner and Governor-General of South Africa, has been made an
early."--_Daily Paper._

* * * * *

A correspondent, referring to Mr. Punch's quotation (from an Australian
paper) of the title of a song, "It was a Lover and His Last," suggests
"_Ne_ suitor _ultra crepidam._"

* * * * *

On the coal strike:--

"We look to the Government to keep all doors open. We look to the
public to keep cool."--_Westminster Gazette._

The public should have no difficulty in doing its part if the Government
do theirs.

* * * * *

[Illustration:

TRANSPORT: PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE.]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Giles._ "I DIDN'T 'ARDLY AGREE WI' THE VICAR IN WOT 'E
SAID ABOUT THEM EARLY MARTYRS BEIN' THROWN TO THE LIONS AN' BURNT AT THE
STAKE AN' LIVIN' ON FOR EVER."

_Curate._ "WHY NOT?"

_Giles._ "WELL, ZUR, NO CONSTITOOTION COULD STAND IT."]

* * * * *

THE CONSPIRATORS.

V.

MY DEAR CHARLES,--Let me remind you that the Bolshevist conspirator has
to stir up conflagrations in other countries without leaving his own.
Passports and things are put in to make it more difficult when he comes
to getting his inflammable material and directions for use over the
frontier. So he has to invent a way over the obstacles.

The first prize is awarded to the following: Secret instructions are
printed in Arabic and the pages containing them are bound up in a five
hundred page book in that language. The courier, an Oriental, carries
this book openly in his hand when he presents himself at the frontier.
It is ten to one that an innocent-looking book, thus carried, will not
be suspected; a hundred to one against there being an official capable
of reading it; five hundred to three against that official trying one of
the guilty pages, if he is there and duly suspicious. Yet, with a
hundred and sixty-six thousand chances again