If they're old and dry;
Larch logs of pine woods smell,
But the sparks will fly.
Beech logs for Christmas-time,
Yew logs heat well;
"Scotch" logs it is a crime
For anyone to sell.
Birch logs will burn too fast,
Chestnut scarce at all;
Hawthorn logs are good to last
If cut in the Fall.
Holly logs will burn like wax,
You should burn them green;
Elm logs like smouldering flax,
No flame to be seen.
Pear logs and apple logs,
They will scent your room;
Cherry logs across the dogs
Smell like flowers in bloom.
But Ash logs, all smooth and grey,
Burn them green or old;
Buy up all that come your way,
They're worth their weight in gold.

* * * * *

"GIRL EYE-MAKER."

_Picture-title in Daily Paper._

Perhaps we ought to mention that the eyes she makes are artificial,
not "glad."

* * * * *

Our Discreet Press.

"Mystery surrounds the Russo-Polish peace negotiations at Riga.
According to a Central News message from Warsaw Marshal Pilsudski
has had a conference with??????????, the Premier, as to whether
demobilisation should take place shortly."--_Evening Paper._

* * * * *

"When he [Sir Herbert Beerbohm Tree] was prepared to play _Martin
Chuzzlewit_ he wrote to me (and doubtless explained to others) that
he was going to present _Mr. Micawber_ as 'a sort of
fairy.'"--_Sunday Paper._

We suppose if Sir HERBERT had staged _David Copperfield_ he would have
cast himself for the husband of _Mrs. Harris_.

* * * * *

THE PRIVATE FILM.

MY attention has been drawn to the most recent and perhaps the most
terrible development of the Cinema by an advertisement, from which I
take the following extracts:--

HAVE YOUR OWN FILM TAKEN.

THE MOST MODERN METHOD OF GAINING PUBLICITY.

_To Members of Parliament, Mayors, Lecturers and other Public Men
and Women._

"The Cinema has become the cheapest, the surest and most rapid road
to publicity. It is estimated that a third of the population attend
the Cinema once a week. Messrs. Mump and Gump have therefore fitted
up a special studio for film work, in which you can now have your
own film taken, representing you in any action you may desire. This
method of publicity