hey? There
ought to be representatives of the G.B.P. on all these conferences. They
ought to be chosen from a rota, like jurymen. Very likely one of them
would have found out what a datum line is, anyway. There's a man who
comes up in the train with me in the morning who thinks he knows, but
unfortunately he gets out at Croydon so we haven't found out yet.

By having a lot more conferences and having a lot of representatives
from the public on them all, and paying them well for it, one could
practically settle the unemployment problem for the winter. If the
Government can only be brought to see that this is the only
statesmanlike course, and the sole course consistent with the
Anglo-Saxon sense of justice, and capable of leading to a satisfactory
Exploration of Avenues, Finding of Bridges and Discovery of Ways Out, we
may all achieve our life's ambition some day and open the morning paper
to find that we are being read at last from left to right. "Mr. ROBERT
WILLIAMS, Mr. LLOYD GEORGE, Mr. J. H. THOMAS, Lord RIDDELL," and so on
and so on, till you come at last to "J. Smith, Esq., R.B.P.," smiling
the widest of all. R.B.P.'s, I think, should wear a distinguishing
mark--a single spat perhaps. EVOE.

* * * * *

MORE SECRET HISTORY.

[According to a report in a daily paper, at the recent Peace
Conference held at Spa, where the delegates were royally
entertained in the matter of hotel accommodation, meals,
etc., the cigar bill (which has been sent in to the League
of Nations and sent out again) amounted to three thousand
two hundred pounds. What the delegates could not smoke they
seem to have taken away with them.]

'TIS sweet in darkish times like these to see a
Rent in the veil which keeps the public blind,
And thus obtain a pretty shrewd idea
Of what goes on behind;

To note how quite an innocent report'll
Reveal apparent trifles which befall,
Proving that men whom we supposed immortal
Are human after all.

But here, while I can hardly call you blameful
For smoking "free" cigars with so much zest,
Frankly I feel 'twas little short of shameful
To go and pinch the rest.

I can forgive your huge hotel expenses;
Your beef was rightly of a super-cut;
A modicum of wine does whet the senses;
But those cigars--tut, tut!

For there's a finer aid to meditation,
Much mo