d. It certainly is a fine thing
to be able to orate. I've sometimes thought I had a little talent that
way myself, and I know darn well that one reason why a fourflushing old
back-number like Chan Mott can get away with it in real estate is just
because he can make a good talk, even when he hasn't got a doggone thing
to say! And it certainly is pretty cute the way they get out all these
courses on various topics and subjects nowadays. I'll tell you, though:
No need to blow in a lot of good money on this stuff when you can get
a first-rate course in eloquence and English and all that right in
your own school--and one of the biggest school buildings in the entire
country!"

"That's so," said Mrs. Babbitt comfortably, while Ted complained:

"Yuh, but Dad, they just teach a lot of old junk that isn't any
practical use--except the manual training and typewriting and basketball
and dancing--and in these correspondence-courses, gee, you can get all
kinds of stuff that would come in handy. Say, listen to this one:

'CAN YOU PLAY A MAN'S PART?

'If you are walking with your mother, sister or best girl and some
one passes a slighting remark or uses improper language, won't you be
ashamed if you can't take her part? Well, can you?

'We teach boxing and self-defense by mail. Many pupils have written
saying that after a few lessons they've outboxed bigger and heavier
opponents. The lessons start with simple movements practised before your
mirror--holding out your hand for a coin, the breast-stroke in swimming,
etc. Before you realize it you are striking scientifically, ducking,
guarding and feinting, just as if you had a real opponent before you.'"

"Oh, baby, maybe I wouldn't like that!" Ted chanted. "I'll tell the
world! Gosh, I'd like to take one fellow I know in school that's always
shooting off his mouth, and catch him alone--"

"Nonsense! The idea! Most useless thing I ever heard of!" Babbitt
fulminated.

"Well, just suppose I was walking with Mama or Rone, and somebody passed
a slighting remark or used improper language. What would I do?"

"Why, you'd probably bust the record for the hundred-yard dash!"

"I WOULD not! I'd stand right up to any mucker that passed a slighting
remark on MY sister and I'd show him--"

"Look here, young Dempsey! If I ever catch you fighting I'll whale the
everlasting daylights out of you--and I'll do it without practising
holding out my hand for a coin before the mirror, too!"

"Wh