hout of it. Wot could they do
With Science and her bloomin' fireworks plaguin'
Their hartfullest little games the whole Town through?

Our only 'ope, my NAN, is in the Noodles,
There's still some left in London I'll be bound.
To lurk a crib, prig wipes, sneak ladies' poodles,
Gits 'arder every day; we're watched all round.
Many a programme wot looks vastly pooty,
Mucked by the mugs, leads on to wus and wus.
But if they _do_ light up the dim, cramped, sooty.
Gog-ruled old Town--_wot's_ to become of _hus_?

* * * * *

MOST APPROPRIATE.--The Bishop of DURHAM has appointed Mr. T.
DIBDIN Chancellor of the Diocese of Durham. He already holds the
Chancellorships of Exeter and Rochester. Three Chancellorships, all
on the high sees too! "THOMAS DIBDIN" is the right man in the right
place.

* * * * *

PROVERB "UP TO DATE."--"Cumming events cast their shadows before." And
let's hope the shadows will be speedily dispelled.

* * * * *

HOW IT'S DONE.

(_A HANDBOOK TO HONESTY._)

NO. VIII.-"SOLD AGAIN!"

SCENE--_An Auction-room, breathing an air of solid, if
somewhat Philistinish suburban comfort and respectability.
Amidst a labyrinthine accumulation of household
furniture, a number of people are dispersed, many of them
substantial-looking middle-class male and female "buyers,"
with lists and lead-pencils, on the look-out for "bargains," a
sprinkling of the ancient race, and an outer fringe of casual,
lounging, lookers-on. The gentleman in the rostrum is a
voluble personage, with a rapidly roving eye, of preternatural
quickness in picking up "bids." Attendants, shaggy men,
in soiled shirt-sleeves, with saw-dusty whiskers, and
husky voices. A pleasant-faced Paterfamilias, and his
"Good lady," are discovered inspecting a solidly-built,
well-seasoned, age-toned chest of mahogany drawers._

_Paterfamilias_ (_sotto voce_). Just what you want, my dear, as far as
I can see. What do _you_ think?

[Illustration]

_Materfamilias_. _I_ like the look of them much, JOHN. None of your
new, cheap, thinly-veneered, blown-together rubbish, smelling of
shavings and French-polish. Solid ma'ogany, every bit; the drawers run
as smoothly as could be wished, and--see! if there ain't actually some
sprigs of dry lavender still a laying in 'em!

_Paterfamilias_