nciple is, that courtesy is due to all
men from all men; from the servant to the served; from the served to
the servant; and from both for precisely the same reason, namely,
because both are human beings and _fellow_-citizens!"
V.--A REMARK OR TWO TO BE REMEMBERED.
We purpose, in succeeding chapters, to set forth briefly but clearly,
what the actual requirements of good society are in reference to
behavior. You must look at these in the light of the general
principles we have already laid down. It is not for us to say how far
you ought or can conform to any particular custom, usage, or rule of
etiquette. We believe that even the most arbitrary and capricious of
them either have or have had a reason and a meaning. In many cases,
however, the reason may no longer exist, and the form be meaningless;
or while it embodies what is a living truth to others, you may have
outgrown it or advanced beyond it. _You have an undoubted right,
politely but firmly, to decline to do what seems to you, looking upon
the matter from your highest stand-point, to be clearly wrong, and it
is no breach of good manners to do so_; but at the same time you
should avoid, as far as possible, putting yourself in positions which
call for the exercise of this right. If you can not conscientiously
wear a dress coat, or a stove-pipe hat, or cut your hair, or eat
flesh-meat, or drink wine, you will naturally avoid, under ordinary
circumstances, the circles in which non-conformity in these matters
would be deemed a breach of good manners. When it is necessary that
you should mingle with people whose customs you can not follow in all
points without a violation of principle, you will courteously, and
with proper respect for what they probably think entirely right, fall
back upon the "higher law;" but if it is a mere matter of gloved or
ungloved hands, cup or saucer, fork or knife, you will certainly have
the courtesy and good sense to conform to usage.
V.
DOMESTIC MANNERS.
Home is a little world of itself, and furnishes a sphere for
the exercise of every virtue and for the experience of every
pleasure or pain. If one profit not by its opportunities, he
will be likely to pay dearly for less agreeable lessons in
another school.--_Harrison._
I.--A TEST OF GOOD MANNERS.
Good manners are not to be put on and off with one's best clothes.
Politeness is an article for every-day wear. If you don it only on
special an
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