_I_ was a boy. I
remember when I was about your age, my dears, seeing TOM MATHEWS, and
it was _so_ amusing. He used to sing a song--

_Chorus_ (_interrupting as the Curtain rises_). Hush, Grandpa! it's
going to begin! (_The party subside, and direct their attention to
twenty sets or so of the most magnificent scenery, illustrated by
gorgeous Processions. The hands of the clock revolve, leaving Eight
and reaching Eleven, when Grand Transformation takes place, amidst
various coloured fires. Then enter_ Old Christmas Clown.)

_Old Christmas Clown_. Here we are again! How are you to-morrow?

_Chorus of Children_. Oh, we are _so_ tired! And we have heard that
before!

_Mother_. And I am afraid we shall miss our train.

_Father_. And the roads are _so_ bad!

_Grandfather_. Well, well, perhaps we had better go; but in my time we
all used to enjoy it _so_ much. (_Aside._) And perhaps, after all, the
red-hot poker business _is_ rather stale at the end of the Nineteenth
Century!

[_Exeunt the Party, plus five-sixths of the Audience._

* * * * *

VOCES POPULI.

A CHRISTMAS ROMP.

SCENE--_Mrs. CHIPPERFIELD's Drawing-room. It is after the
Christmas dinner, and the Gentlemen have not yet appeared.
Mrs. C. is laboriously attempting to be gracious to her
Brother's Fiancee, whose acquaintance she has made for the
first time, and with whom she is disappointed. Married Sisters
and Maiden Aunts confer in corners with a sleepy acidity._

_First Married Sister_ (_to Second_). I felt quite sorry for FRED,
to see him sitting there, looking--and no wonder--so ashamed of
himself--but I always will say, and I always _must_ say, CAROLINE,
that if you and ROBERT had been _firmer_ with him when he was younger,
he would never have turned out so badly! Now, there's my GEORGE--&c.,
&c.

[Illustration]

_Mrs. C._ (_to the Fiancee_). Well, my dear, I don't approve of young
men getting engaged until they have some prospects of being able to
marry, and dear ALGY was always my favourite brother, and I've seen so
much misery from long engagements. However, we must hope for the best,
that's all!

_A Maiden Aunt_ (_to Second Ditto_). Exactly what struck _me_, MARTHA.
_One_ waiter would have been quite sufficient, and if JAMES _must_
be grand and give champagne, he might have given us a little _more_
of it; I'm sure I'd little more than foam in _my_ glass! And every
plate as cold a