rything she knows.
As for Master PADDY,
Whoop there! Down he goes!
Bumped a bit, poor laddy!
What then? At this game
Who would be a stopper
Just because he came
Now and then a cropper?
Up and on once more,
Chance by courage foiling!
Hark the jovial roar!
"Keep the Pot a-boiling!"

Father Christmas, hail!
Sure 'tis flagrant folly
Now to rave and rail.
Truce--beneath your holly!
Darkest England waits
Care Co-operative;
Mood that moat elates
Is to-day--the dative!
You need not doubt,
You're no "Grecian" giver.
Many "cold without,"
Foodless, hopeless, shiver;
Many a poor man's pot,
Even at your season,
With no pudding hot
Bubbles. Is't not treason
Unto more than kings
To waste time in fighting
Whilst such crooked things
Stand in need of righting?
In the name of those
Starving, suffering, toiling,
Let our quarrels close--
"Keep the Pot a-boiling!"

* * * * *

FIGHTING THE FOG.

(_A SEASONABLE HINT._)

Sir,--I have read several letters in the papers complaining of the
fog, and asking not only how one is to protect the system from its
injurious effects, but also soliciting information as to how one is
to safeguard oneself against street accident, if obliged to quit the
premises during its prevalence. The first is simple enough. Get a
complete diver's suit, put it on, and let an attendant follow you with
a pumping apparatus, for the purpose of supplying you with the fumes
of hydro-bi-carbon (DAFFY's solution) in a state of suspension. This
will considerably assist the breathing. To avoid street accident,
wear an electric (SWANN) light, five hundred candle power, on the top
of your hat, round the brim of which, in case of accident, you have
arranged a dozen lighted night-lights. Strap a Duplex Reflector on to
your back, and fasten a Hansom cab-lamp on to each knee. Let a couple
of boys, bearing flaming links, and beating dinner-gongs, clear the
way for you, while you yourself shout "_Here comes the Bogie Man!_"
or any other appropriate ditty, through a fog-horn, which you carry
in one hand, while you spring a policeman's ancient rattle vigorously
with the other. You will, if thus provided, get along capitally.
Be careful at crossings, for your sudden appearance might possibly
frighten an omnibus horse or two, and cause trouble.

I haven't tried all this _yet_ myself,