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rtainment upon him even if you have to use chloroform. If you would have a serene old age never woo a girl who keeps a diary. [Illustration] When you are inclined to be haughty, remember that a cook in the kitchen is worth two in the employment office. A chef is a cook who gets a salary instead of wages. It is better form for a bride to take her wedding journey with the groom than with the coachman. [Illustration] Under no circumstances associate with persons who wear detachable cuffs. Such men are usually trying to get rich at the expense of the washerwoman. When crossing the Atlantic no gentleman will rock the boat. Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves. [Illustration] Those who live in glass houses should be polite to reporters. When in a hurry to get to the poor house, take the road that leads through the bucket shop and passes the race track. Condensed milk should be used in a small flat. [Illustration] Tell your rich relations how fast you are making money--your poor ones, how fast you are losing it. In taking soup try not to give others the impression that the plumbing is out of order. When giving a studio tea, remember that there should be soft lights and hard drinks. [Illustration] Eschew the race-track and the roulette table. Faro is a squarer game than either. Beware of indiscriminate charity. You will never get your name in the paper by giving a tramp the price of a meal. Before marriage the fashionable tint for eyeglasses is rose; after marriage smoked glasses should be worn. [Illustration] If you would make a lifelong friend of a man who lives in a hall bedroom, accuse him of leading a double life. No sportsman will shoot craps during the closed season. Compliments paid a woman behind her back go farthest and are remembered longest. [Illustration] Avoid having business relations with a man whose I. O. U. is not as good as his note; but take his note by preference. When playing poker, it is as bad form to wear a coat as it is to be shy. The father gives the bride away, but the small brother would like to. [Illustration]
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