ice desk making the money to pay for the blow-out.

It is safer to do business with jailbirds than with relatives.

Discuss family scandals before the servants. We should always be kind
to the lower classes.

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When children paw a visitor's gown with their candied fingers the
proper observation for the mother to make is: "My children are so
affectionate."

Reprimand your servants before your guests. It shows your authority.

The chief duty of the best man is to prevent the groom from escaping
before the ceremony.

[Illustration]

In marching up the aisle to the altar the bride carries either a bunch
of flowers or a prayer book. Her father carries a bunch of money or a
cheque book.

On returning from the altar be careful not to step on the bride's
train. There's trouble enough ahead without that.

Don't blow your own horn when you can get some one else to blow it for
you.

[Illustration]

Keep your servants in good humor, if you can--but keep your servants.

Your conduct in an elevator should be governed by circumstances.
Should the lady's husband remove his hat keep yours on. Should he fail
to remove it, take your hat off. This will embarrass him.

Never put in the collection box less than ten per cent. of the amount
you tip your waiter at luncheon.

[Illustration]

At afternoon funerals wear a frock coat and top hat. Should the
funeral be your own, the hat may be dispensed with.

It is never in good taste to indulge in personal pleasantries, such as
referring to a lady's artificial teeth as her collection of
porcelains.

Beware of the man who never buys a gold brick. The chances are that he
sells them.

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Indorse checks about two inches from the end. Don't indorse notes at
all.

No house should be without its guest-chamber. Besides giving one's
home an air of hospitality, it makes an admirable store-room for
dilapidated furniture and unspeakable pictures.

There is only one worse break than asking a woman her age: it is
looking incredulous when she tells it.

[Illustration]

It is not good form to rehearse your domestic difficulties in public,
but it is mighty interesting to your auditors.

Never leave a guest alone for a moment. Force your ente