lence, and was glad it was strong and
bitter.

* * * * *

[Illustration: AT OUR COMPANY SMOKER.

_The Major_ (_sings_). "AND WE DIDN'T CARE A BUTTON IF THE ODDS WERE ON THE
FOE TEN--TWENTY--THIRTY--FORTY--"

_Colonel_ (_roused from surreptitious snooze_). "AS YOU WERE!--NUMBER!"]

* * * * *

Result of the Blockade.

Notice on a railway bookstall:--

"MEN AROUND THE KAISER.
MUCH REDUCED."

* * * * *

"On the pier a man was arrested who declared excitedly that he was
Frederick Hohenzollern, the Kaiser's nephew, but he appeared quite
harmless."--_Daily News_.

Obviously an impostor.

* * * * *

"The khaki-clad boys were as merry as a party of undergraduates
celebrating some joyous event at the college tuck-shop."--_Yorkshire
Herald_.

What memories of the Junior Common Room are recalled by this artless
phrase.

* * * * *

The Super-Submarine.

"The Lyman M. Law was stopped by a gunshot fired by a submarine, which
boarded the American boat, took the names of all on board, and then
authorised the continuation of the voyage."--_Evening News_.

* * * * *

Experiences of Mr. GERARD'S party:--

"Our first surprise on reaching Paris was to find taxi-cabs, and
taxi-cubs with pneumatic tyres."--_Scots Paper_.

We suggest that our M.F.H.'s should import a few of these in time for next
season's cubbing. They give an excellent run for the money--a mile for
eightpence or so.

* * * * *

THE MISSING LEADER.

What is Master WINSTON doing?
What new paths is he pursuing?
What strange broth can he be brewing?

Is he painting, by commission,
Portraits of the Coalition
For the R.A. exhibition?

Is he Jacky-obin or anti?
Is he likely to "go Fanti,"
Or becoming shrewd and canty?

Is he in disguise at Kovel,
Living in a moujik's hovel,
Making a tremendous novel?

Does he run a photo-play show?
Or in _saeva indignatio_
Is he writing for HORATIO?

Fired by the divine afflatus
Does he weekly lacerate us,
Like a Juvenal _renatus?_

As the great financial purist,
Will he smite the sinecurist
Or emerge as a Futurist?

Is he regularly sending
HAIG and BEATTY screeds unending,
Good advice