a chairman would open the ball. The occasion of
which I am thinking was one of these meetings in the East End, where the
Chairman was a local tradesman. He said that this was a war for liberty and
that England could never sheathe the sword until Belgium was free; he told
the audience how many of his relations were fighting; and then he made way
for our gallant boys in blue who were to address the company.

"Well, we addressed the company, I by no means the least of the orators,
and then the Chairman wound up the meeting. He said how much he had enjoyed
the speeches and how much he hoped that they would bear good fruit; and
indeed he felt confident of that, because 'we 'ere in the East End are
plain straight-forward folk, who like plain straight-forward talk, and we
would rather listen to the honest 'omely sailors who 'ave been talking to
us this evening, than any fine Oxford gentleman.'"

That is the story of my friend with a grievance. And yet, now I come to
think about it again, and his manner of telling it, I'm not sure I ought
not rather to call him a man with a triumph.

* * * * *

"Farmer's Daughter wanted, to learn daughter Cheddar cheesemaking for 1
month, from March 25th; 25 cows; treated as family."--_Bristol Times
and Mirror_.

A little less than kin and more than kine.

* * * * *

"Washington, Thursday.

The representatives of thirty leading American railways have agreed
virtually to an embargo on eastern shipments of freight for export
until the present congestion on the eastern sideboard is
relieved."--_Evening Standard_.

This is all very well for the Americans, but what we are concerned about is
the depletion of our own sideboard.

* * * * *

From an official advertisement in favour of tillage:--

"An acre of Oats will
feed for a week . . 100 people.
An acre of Potatoes . 200 "
" " of Beef . . 8 " "--_Irish Times_.

We understand that Lord DEVONPORT accepts no responsibility for the last
statement.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Father_. "YOU'RE VERY BACKWARD. THERE'S NORMAN SMITHERS,
THE SAME AGE AS YOU, AND HE'S TWO FORMS HIGHER. AREN'T YOU ASHAMED?"

_Hopeful_. "NO. HE CAN'T HELP IT--IT'S HEREDITARY."]

* * * * *

THE MAMMAL-SAURIAN WAR.

A PARABLE OF GERMANY'S C