d and important manner at another dog and be perfectly
comprehended.

"A difficulty would certainly arise as to the selection of a word when
forty or fifty men might at the same time label any article with as many
different names, and, it is reasonable to suppose, that they would be
reluctant to adopt any other expression but that of their own creation.
In such a crux the strongest man of the community would be likely to
clout the others to an admission that his terminology was standard.

"Thus, by slow accretions, the various languages crept into currency, and
the youth of innumerable schoolboys has been embittered by having to
learn to spell.

"Grasshoppers are a fine, sturdy race of people. A great many of them
live on the Hill of Howth, where I have often spent hours hearkening to
their charming conversation. They do not speak with the same machinery
that we use--they convey their ideas to each other by rubbing their
hind-legs together, whereupon noises are produced of exceeding variety
and interest. As a method of speech this is simply delightful, and I
wish we could be trained to converse in so majestical a manner. Perhaps
we shall live to see the day when the journals will chronicle that Mr.
Redmond had rubbed his legs together for three hours at the Treasury
Bench and was removed frothing at the feet, but after a little rest he
was enabled to return and make more noise than ever."

The old gentleman smiled very genially and went out. The assistant
suggested that he had a terrible lot of old "guff," but I did not agree
with him.

VII

Between impartial sips at his own and my liquor the old gentleman
perused the small volume which he had taken from my pocket. After he
had read it he buttoned the book in his own pouch and addressed me with
great kindness--

"In some respects," said he, "poets differ materially from other
animals. For instance, they seldom marry, and when they do it is only
under extreme compulsion.--This is the more singular when we remember
that poets are almost continually singing about love. When they do
marry they instantly cease to make poetry and turn to labour like the
rest of the community.

"It has been finely said that the poet is born and not made, but I
fancy that this might be postulated of the rest of creation.

"Many people believe that all poets arise from their beds in the middle
of the night, and that they walk ten miles until they come to a
hillside, where they rema