ve never heard of a cat who has
hired another cat to bite out, tear off, scrape or otherwise demolish
his or her whiskers. When I do hear of some such occurrence I shall be
prepared to reconsider my position on this subject.

"In some ways a clean-shaved face is desirable. A pig's cheek should
not have whiskers, neither should oysters nor the face of a clock, but
a man's face should never be seen out of doors without a decent and
honourable covering."

Having said this, the old gentleman, with remarkable presence of mind,
drank my whisky, and then apologised with dignified and touching
humility. As we departed the youth behind the counter corrugated his
features in a remarkable manner, and said, "bow-wow" by way of
valediction.

XII

He helped himself absently to two water biscuits and a piece of cheese
and sank to a profound reverie. The eating of this light refreshment
was probably a manifestation of subconscious thought, for, when he had
finished, he spoke to me as follows--

"There are a great many things which I dislike immensely but the
necessity for which I must perforce acquiesce in: these are water,
easterly winds and actresses: but there are other habits cultivated by
humanity for which I can find no apology, and some of these have grown
to so great an extent that they now bulk as evils of terrific
magnitude."

"Foremost among these reprehensible customs I will mention that of
eating. Of all the evils under which civilisation staggers helplessly
the most ponderous and merciless is hunger, and it is the evil which
will ultimately decimate all existing forms of life.

"All forms of organic life have now for millions of years been slaves
to this filthy habit of eating, and have superimposed upon their
original singleness of form a variety of weighty and unattractive
organs to keep pace with the satisfaction of this oppressive appetite,
until to-day the entire organic world stands upon the imminent brink of
destruction if food should be withheld from it for one entire week.

"Every living being should be self-supporting and self-sufficient. It
should be inherent in the economy of a man to produce for himself not
alone food but also shelter and raiment from his own internal
resources. A man should be able to build a house or evolve a loaf of
bread out of his own body with ease and assurance.

"Look for a moment at spiders. Every spider carries within himself the
materials for his own home. His stomach