d who I fancy are shaved
before birth, are all monsters of cold-blooded ferocity, and they will
devour their parents and even their own offspring with equal and
indiscriminate enjoyment.

"The habit of shaving is not of a very ancient origin. When humanity
lived a quiet, rural and unambitious life, men did not shave: their
hair was their glory, and if they had occasion to swear, which must
have been infrequent, their hardiest and readiest oath was, 'by the
beard of my father,' showing clearly that this texture was held in
veneration in early times and was probably accorded divine honours upon
suitable occasions.

"With the advent of war came the habit of shaving. A beard offered too
handy a grip to a foeman who had gotten to close quarters, therefore,
warriors who had no true hardihood of soul preferred cutting off their
beards to the honourable labour of defending their chins. Many ancient
races effected a compromise in order to retain a fitting military
appearance, for a bare-faced warrior has but little of terror in his
aspect. The ancient Egyptians, for example, who had cut off, or could
not cultivate, or had been forcibly deprived of their beards, were wont
to go into battle clad in heavy false whiskers, which, when an enemy
seized hold of them, came off instantly in his hand, and the ancient
Egyptian was enabled to despatch him while in a trance of stupefaction
and horror. Clean-shaved men became, by this cowardly stratagem, very
much prized as fighting men, and thus the foundation of the shaving
habit was laid.

"It is a remarkable fact that, save for an inconsiderable number who
live in circuses, women have no beards. I am unable at present to
trace the reason for this singular omission, but the advantages of
beards for women are too patent for explanation. They would improve
her personal appearance, and their advantages as air-purifiers or
respirators I need not dwell upon. I am certain that a persistent
application of goose-grease and electricity to the chin of a woman
would at last enable her to become as bearded and virtuous as her
husband, besides entitling her to the political franchise. They are
perverse creatures, however, and it is possible that this deprivation
is responsible for many of their ill-humours and crankinesses. Their
scarcity of beard is the more remarkable when we observe that the
female cat is as magnificently whiskered as her male companion. The
wisdom of cats is proverbial, and I ha