ery one will envy you! People will call upon
you who never used to call. Others will send you invitations. You will
at last get into English society.

SALOME. I want Mr. Redford's head on the top of a four-wheel cab.

THE DEVIL. Salome, come hither. Have you ever looked at the _Daily
Mirror_? Only in the _Daily Mirror_ should one look. For it tells the
truth sometimes. Well, I will give you the head of Hamilton Fyfe. He is
my best friend. No critic is so fond of the drama as Hamilton Fyfe.
(_Huskily_.) Salome, I will give you W. L. Courtney's head. I will give
you all their heads.

SALOME. I have the scalps of most critics. I want Mr. Redford's head on
a four-wheel cab.

THE DEVIL. Salome! You do not know what you ask. Mr. Redford is a kind
of religion. He represents the Lord Chamberlain. You know the dear Lord
Chamberlain. You would not harm one of his servants, especially when
they are not insured. It would be cruel. It would be irreligious. It
would be in bad taste. It would not be respectable. Listen to me; I
will give you all Herod's Stores . . . Salome. Shannon was right. You
HAVE taken too much, or you would not ask this thing. See, I will give
you Mr. Redford's body, but not his head. Not that, not that, my child.

SALOME. I want Mr. Redford's head on a four-wheel cab.

THE DEVIL. Salome, I must tell you a secret. It is terrible for me to
have to tell the truth. The Commander said that I would have to tell the
truth. MR. REDFORD HAS NO HEAD!

[_The audience long before this have begun to put on their cloaks, and
the dramatic critics have gone away to describe the cold reception with
which the play has been greeted. All the people on the stage cover their
heads except the_ STATUE, _who has become during the action of the piece
more and more like Mr. Bernard Shaw. Curtain descends slowly_.

(1907.)

_To_ ARTHUR CLIFTON, ESQ.

SOME DOCTORED DILEMMA.

A NEW EPILOGUE FOR THE LAST PERFORMANCE OF MR. SHAW'S PLAY.

Though Mr. Bernard Shaw has set the fashion in prologues for modern
plays, his admirers were not altogether satisfied with the epilogue to
_The Doctor's Dilemma_. It is far too short; and leaves us in the dark
as to whom 'Jennifer Dubedat' married. Epilogues, as students of English
drama remember, were often composed by other authors. The following
experiment ought to have come from the hand of Mr. St. John Hankin, that
master of Dramatic Sequels,