e.' 'That was a good joke
about duty and beauty being the same thing'--that was a joke I did _not_
make. It is not my kind of joke--but when people begin ascribing to you
the jokes of other people, you become a living--I was going to say
statue--but I mean a living classic.

THE DEVIL. I thought you disliked anything classic?

THE STATUE. Ahem! only _dead_ classics--especially when they are
employed to protect romanticism. Dead classics are the protective
tariffs put on all realism and truth by bloated idealism. In a country
of plutocrats, idealism keeps out truth: idealism is more expensive, and
therefore more in demand. In America, there are more plutocrats, and
therefore more idealists . . . as Mr. Pember Reeves has pointed out in
New Zealand . . .

THE DEVIL. But I say, is this drama?

THE STATUE. Certainly not. It is a discussion taking place at a
theatre. It is no more drama than a music-hall entertainment, or a comic
opera, or a cinematograph, or a hospital operation, all of which things
take place in theatres. But surely it is more entertaining to come to a
discussion charmingly mounted by Ricketts--discussion too, in which every
one knows what he is going to say--than to flaccid plays in which the
audience always knows what the actors _are_ going to say better often
than the actors. The sort of balderdash which Mr. --- serves up to us
for plays.

THE DEVIL (_peevish and old-fashioned_). I wish you would define drama.

HANKIN (_advancing_). Won't you have tea, Commander? It's not bad tea.

THE STATUE. I was afraid you were going to talk idealism.

HANKIN (_aside_). Excuse my interrupting, but I want you to be
particularly nice to the Princess Salome. You know she was jilted by the
Censor. She has brought her music.

THE DEVIL. You might introduce her to Mrs. Warren. But I am afraid the
Princess has taken rather too much upon herself this evening.

THE STATUE. Yes, she has taken too much; I am sure she has taken too
much.

A JOURNALIST. Is that the Princess Salome who has Mexican opals in her
teeth, and red eyebrows and green hair, and curious rock-crystal breasts?

THE DEVIL. Yes, that is the Princess Salome.

SHANNON. I know the Princess quite well. Ricketts makes her frocks.
Shall I ask her to dance?

THE DEVIL. Yes, anything to distract her attention from the guests.
These artistic English people are so easily shocked. They don't
understand Strauss, nor indeed any