not give Kunda into Debendra's hand; the
thought of it torments me. Rather I will so manage that she shall not
fall in his way. How shall I effect that? I will place Kunda where she
was before, thus she will escape him. Whether he dress as _Boisnavi_
or _Vasudeva_,[12] he will not obtain admission into that house;
therefore it will be well to take Kunda back there. But she will not
go! Her face is set against the house. But if all coax her she must
go. Another design I have in my mind; will God permit me to carry it
out? Why am I so angry with Surja Mukhi? She never did me any harm; on
the contrary, she loves me and is kind to me. Why, then, am I angry?
Because Surja Mukhi is happy, and I am miserable; she is great, I am
mean; she is mistress, I am servant; therefore my anger against her is
strong. If, you say, God made her great, how is that her fault? Why
should I hurt her? I reply, God has done me harm. Is that my fault? I
do not wish to hurt her, but if hurting her benefits me, why should I
not do it? Who does not seek his own advantage? Now I want money; I
can't endure servitude any longer. Where will money come from? From
the Datta house--where else? To get the Datta money, then, must be my
object. Every one knows that Nagendra Babu's eyes have fallen on
Kunda; the Babu worships her. What great people wish, they can
accomplish. The only obstacle is Surja Mukhi. If the two should
quarrel, then the great Surja Mukhi's wish will no longer be regarded.
Now, let me see if I cannot bring about a quarrel. If that is done,
the Babu will be free to worship Kunda. At present Kunda is but an
innocent, but I will make her wise; I will soon bring her into
subjection. She can be of much assistance to me. If I give my mind to
it, I can make her do what I will. If the Babu devotes himself to
Kunda, he will do what she bids him; and she shall do what I bid her.
So shall I receive the fruits of his devotion. If I am not to serve
longer, this is the way it must be brought about. I will give Kunda
Nandini to Nagendra, but not suddenly. I will hide her for a few days
and see what happens. Love is deepened by separation. If I keep them
apart the Babu's love will ripen. Then I will bring out Kunda and give
her to him. Then if Surja Mukhi's fate is not broken, it must be a
very strong fate. In the meantime I will mould Kunda to my will. But,
first, I must send my grandmother to Kamarghat, else I cannot keep
Kunda hidden."

[Footnote 12: