lovableness--these also nature had
given to him with liberal hand. That gift which is priceless in the
world, a loving, faithful wife, even this had been granted to him; who
on this earth had possessed more of the elements of happiness? who was
there on earth to-day more wretched? If by giving up everything,
riches, honour, beauty, youth, learning, intelligence, he could have
changed conditions with one of his palanquin-bearers, he would have
considered it a heavenly happiness. "Yet why a bearer?" thought he;
"is there a prisoner in the gaols of this country who is not more
happy than I? not more holy than I? They have slain others; I have
slain Surja Mukhi. If I had ruled my passions, would she have been
brought to die such a death in a strange place? I am her murderer.
What slayer of father, mother, or son, is a greater sinner than I? Was
Surja Mukhi my wife only? She was my all. In relation a wife, in
friendship a brother, in care a sister, abounding in hospitality, in
love a mother, in devotion a daughter, in pleasure a friend, in
counsel a teacher, in attendance a servant! My Surja Mukhi! who else
possesses such a wife? A helper in domestic affairs, a fortune in the
house, a religion in the heart, an ornament round the neck, the pupil
of my eyes, the blood of my heart, the life of my body, the smile of
my happiness, my comfort in dejection, the enlightener of my mind, my
spur in work, the light of my eyes, the music of my ears, the breath
of my life, the world to my touch! My present delight, the memory of
my past, the hope of my future, my salvation in the next world! I am a
swine--how should I recognize a pearl?"

Suddenly it occurred to him that he was being borne in a palanquin at
his ease, while Surja Mukhi had worn herself out by travelling on
foot. At this thought Nagendra leaped from the palanquin and proceeded
on foot, his bearers carrying the empty vehicle in the rear. When he
reached the bazaar where he had arrived in the morning he dismissed
the men with their palanquin, resolving to finish his journey on foot.

"I will devote my life to expiating the death of Surja Mukhi. What
expiation? All the joys of which Surja Mukhi was deprived in leaving
her home, I will henceforth give up. Wealth, servants, friends, none
of these will I retain. I will subject myself to all the sufferings
she endured. From the day I leave Govindpur I will go on foot, live
upon rice, sleep beneath a tree or in a hut. What furthe