e to grow more
conscious, less trustful, a little harder in outline; one kind of young
dignity has to be exchanged for another, an attitude of self-defence is
necessary. There is perhaps a certain loss in it, but it is inevitable.
The real misfortune is that the first line of defence is often
surrendered before the second is ready, and a sudden relaxation of
control tends to yield too much; in fact girls are apt to lose their
heads and abandon their self-control further than they are able to
resume it. Once they have "let themselves go"--it is the favourite
phrase, and for once a phrase that completely conveys its meaning--it is
exceedingly difficult for them to stop themselves, impossible for others
to stop them by force, for the daring ones are quite ready to break with
their friends, and the others can elude control with very little
difficulty. The only security is a complete armour of self-control based
on faith, and a home tie which is a guarantee for happiness. Girls who
are not happy in their own homes live in an atmosphere of temptation
which they can scarcely resist, and the happiness of home is dependent
in a great measure upon the manners of home, "there is no surer
dissolvant of home affections than discourtesy." [1--D. Urquhart.] It
is useless to insist on this, it is known and admitted by almost all,
but the remedy or the preventive is hard to apply, demanding such
constant self-sacrifice on the part of parents that all are not ready to
practise it; it is so much easier and it looks at first sight so kind to
let children have their way. So kind at first, so unselfish in
appearance, the parents giving way, abdicating their authority, while
the young democracy in the nursery or school-room takes the reins in
hand so willingly, makes the laws, or rather rules without them, by its
sovereign moods, and then outgrows the "establishment" altogether,
requires more scope, snaps the link with home, scarcely regretting, and
goes off on its own account to elbow its way in the world. It is
obviously necessary and perhaps desirable that many girls should have to
make their own way in the world who would formerly have lived at home,
but often the way in which it is done is all wrong, and leaves behind on
both sides recollections with a touch of soreness.

For those who are practically concerned with the education of girls the
question is how to attain what we want for them, while the force of the
current is set so strong