* * *

[Illustration: THE BULLDOG BREED.

_Company Commander_ (_making sure of his men before the show_). "NOW,
WHEN WE GO OVER THE TOP TO-MORROW, YOU ALL KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TO MAKE
FOR?"

_Chorus of Tommies_. "YUSS, SIR."

_C.C._ "WHAT IS IT, THEN?"

_Chorus_. "THEY GERMANS, SIR."]

* * * * *

OUR CENTRIPETISTS.

"Mrs. Eckstein and Miss Eckstein have returned to London
from Scotland, and they are leaving London immediately for
London."--_Brighton Standard and Fashionable Visitors' List_.

* * * * *

"The Irish farmers are confident that the Food Controller's
declared intention to fix the price of cattle at 6s. per cwt. for
next January will not be carried into effect. They believe that
Lord Rhondda must realise the necessity of making a substantial
increase on this figure."--_Saturday Herald (Dublin)_.

Lord RHONDDA, we understand, has already met the Irish farmers more
than halfway by fixing the price at 60s.

* * * * *
"The Apia Blacksmiths, Ltd., will undertake contracts for the
building of houses, with or without material."--_Samoa Times_.

"And gives to airy nothing
A local habitation."--_Shakspeare_.

* * * * *

TAKING OUR PLEASURES SADLY.

A correspondent informs us that the playbill of IBSEN'S _Ghosts_
at the Pavilion Theatre bears the following words: "Mr. Neville
Chamberlain says, 'It is essential there should be provided amusements
and recreations which can take people for an hour or so out of
themselves and return them to their work refreshed and reinvigorated.'"

* * * * *

SOCIETY NOTES.

_BY THE HANGER-ON._

AIR-RAIDS AND OTHER DIVERSIONS.

A promising young poet of my acquaintance, who in the midst of war's
obsessions still finds time and taste for the exercise of his art
(he is in a Government office), has allowed me to see the opening
couplet of what I understand to be a very ambitious poem. It runs as
follows:--

"Though overhead the Gothas buzz,
Stands London where it did? It does."

Many good judges of poetry to whom I have quoted these lines think
them very clever.

* * * * *

A witty friend of mine tells me that he is thinking of bringing out
a handy and up-to-date edition of the _Almanach de Gotha_, special
attentio