in the morning intent on giving no tips and has
not been heard of afterwards.

To enable timid men to avoid a tip, the police are providing
taxi-drivers with antiseptic mouthpieces, through which their words
may be sterilised.

If the driver insists on a tip do not threaten to take his number.
Just take it and run. If you haven't time for both, just run.

* * * * *

"ALL-WOOL Black Cashmere Stockings, winter weight. 1/111/2
and 2/6 per yard." _Advt. in Scotch Paper_.

We had always thought hosiery was sold by the foot.

* * * * *

"On the estate of the late Hon. Lionel Walrond, Uffculme,
Devon, Robert James, 97, is felling for the purpose of
aeroplane construction aspen trees which he helped to
plant 80 years ago."--_The Times_.

Three cheers for Mr. ROBERT JAMES! "For he's a jolly good feller!"

* * * * *

BEASTS ROYAL.

II.

CAESAR'S GIRAFFE. B.C. 46.

From Egypt, Africa and Gaul
CAESAR his Roman triumph brings:
Dark queens and ruddy-bearded kings,
And scowling Britons led in thrall,
And elephants with silver rings;
But oh, more excellent than all,
This pensive beast, this mottled beast,
From the marshes of the East.

_Patres conscripti_, hail him now
Divine! Through Rome his triumph rolls;
Oysters in barrels, pearls in bowls,
Chariots and horsemen, moving slow
Where purple garlands droop on poles.
_Patres conscripti_, crown his brow,
Who brought us from the golden East
This unimagined peerless beast!

Never has CAESAR made our foes
Weep more than he has made us laugh;
He who divides the world in half
With the long shadow of his nose,
And bridges oceans with his staff,
Brings now, with pomp of vine and rose,
This wondering and wondrous beast
From the subjugated East.

In bronze and basalt let us raise
The bust of CAESAR; he has done
Great things for Rome; but here is one
Above the rest, o'ertopping praise.
The elephants and kings are gone,
But still the roaring tumult sways--
Much for the Conqueror of the East,
More for the incomparable beast.

* * * * *

AN INVOLUNTARY RAID.

Life in a convalescent hospital for officers is not one continuous
round of gaiety, but it has its incidents for all that.

The other day Sister took Haynes,