pon my little dog, and was
again transported with too much passion to proceed; but with much ado,
she at last gave me to understand, that Cupid, her lady's lap-dog, was
dangerously ill, and in so bad a condition, that her lady neither saw
company, nor went abroad, for which reason she did not come herself to
consult me; that as I had mentioned with great affection my own dog
(here she curtsied, and looking first at the cur, and then on me, said,
indeed I had reason, for he was very pretty) her lady sent to me rather
than to any other doctor, and hoped I would not laugh at her sorrow, but
send her my advice. I must confess, I had some indignation to find
myself treated like something below a farrier; yet well knowing, that
the best, as well as most tender way of dealing with a woman, is to fall
in with her humours, and by that means to let her see the absurdity of
them, I proceeded accordingly: "Pray, madam," said I, "can you give me
any methodical account of this illness, and how Cupid was first taken?"
"Sir," said she, "we have a little ignorant country girl who is kept to
tend him: she was recommended to our family by one, that my lady never
saw but once, at a visit; and you know, persons of quality are always
inclined to strangers; for I could have helped her to a cousin of my
own, but----" "Good madam," said I, "you neglect the account of the sick
body, while you are complaining of this girl." "No, no, sir," said she,
"begging your pardon: but it is the general fault of physicians, they
are so in haste, that they never hear out the case. I say, this silly
girl, after washing Cupid, let him stand half an hour in the window
without his collar, where he caught cold, and in an hour after began to
bark very hoarse. He had however a pretty good night, and we hoped the
danger was over; but for these two nights last past, neither he nor my
lady have slept a wink." "Has he," said I, "taken anything?" "No," said
she, "but my lady says, he shall take anything that you prescribe,
provided you do not make use of Jesuits' powder[29], or the cold bath.
Poor Cupid," continued she, "has always been phthisical, and as he lies
under something like a chin-cough, we are afraid it will end in a
consumption." I then asked her, if she had brought any of his water to
show me. Upon this, she stared me in the face, and said, "I am afraid,
Mr. Bickerstaff, you are not serious; but if you have any receipt that
is proper on this occasion, pray let