ce called, and I seem to remember rather a
nasty letter from the landlord's agent. I had a long interview with
mamma on the subject. She pointed out that if I slipped and fell I
should probably make a nasty dent in the pavement, and with many tears I
promised to relinquish the practice.

I used to ride on the Heath when I had the opportunity, but I cannot
pretend that I was up to the standard of the G.E. I do not think I ever
rode up a staircase. I certainly never threw my horse down on the marble
floor of the hall of the Warren. There were several reasons for this.
Firstly, the Warren had not got a hall, and if it had had a hall, the
hall would not have had a marble floor. Secondly, the horses I rode were
likely to be wanted again, being in fact the ponies that unsuspecting
tradesmen stabled at Catley Mews. Bogey Nutter looked after them, and I
could always do what I liked with Bogey. He was perhaps the most profuse
proposer I ever met. At one time he always proposed to me once a day and
twice on Bank holidays. I was such a dashing, attractive creature, what?

As to my education, a good deal depends on what is meant by education.
The kind that was ladled out at the County Council establishment made
little effect upon me. But I was pretty quick at figures, and knew that
an investment of half-a-crown at eleven to eight should bring me in a
profit of three-and-five--provided that the horse won and the man at the
fishmonger's round the corner paid up. My brother Lemberg had the same
talent. If he bought a packet of fags and paid with a ten-shilling note,
he could always negotiate the change so that he made ninepence for
himself and had the cigarettes thrown in. His only mistake was in trying
to do it twice at the same shop, but the scar over his right eye hardly
shows now. A sharp-cornered tobacco-tin was not the thing to have hit
him with anyhow.

For autobiographical purposes always treat a deficiency as if it were a
gift. The G.E. was apparently a duffer at arithmetic, but she tells you
so in a way that makes you admire her for it. All the same I wish I had
been one of those factory-girls that she used to reclaim in their
dinner-hour; I am fundamentally honest, but I never could miss a chance
when it was thrown at me.

My education in dancing was irregular, as that greasy Italian did not
wheel his piano round every week. However I acquired sufficient
proficiency to attract attention, and that is the great thing in li