se name will she prefer? 'Tis thine, Lloyd George."

Yes, dear Nettie had a belated brilliance--the wit of the staircase,
only more so. We always said that Nettie could do wonderful things if
only she were given time.

She was given time ultimately, and is still doing it, but that was in a
totally different connection. She inserted an advertisement stating that
she was a thorough good cook. First-class references. Eight years in
present situation in Exeter, and leaving because the family was going
abroad. Wages asked, L36 per annum. No kitchen-maid required. No less
than twelve families were so anxious to receive the treasure that they
offered her return-fare between Exeter and London, and her expenses, to
secure a personal interview with her. She collected the boodle from all
twelve. And she was living in Bryanstone Square at the time. She is lost
to us now.

As dear old Percy Cochin, also one of the Soles, once said to me: "We
are here to-day, and gone at the end of our month."

Violet Orpington had an arresting appearance, and walked rather like a
policeman also. Her hair was a rich raw sienna, and any man would have
made love to her had she but carried an ear-trumpet. She is the
"retiring Violet" of verse seven.[A] Millie Wyandotte was malicious and
unintelligent; she looked well in white, but was too heavily built for
my taste. I may add, as evidence of my impartiality, that she laid a
table better than any woman I ever knew; in fact, she took first prize
in a laying competition. Nettie Minorca was "black but comely," and had
Spanish blood in her veins. She is the "gipsy" mentioned in verse
one-and-a-half. Popsie Bantam was _petite_. Her profile was admired, but
I always thought it a little beaky myself. I myself was the least
beautiful, but the most attractive. Allusions to me will be found in
verses 1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 12-19, 24, 57-60, 74, 77, 87, 97, and 102-3468.

[Footnote A:
_Publisher_: But you don't give the verses.

_Author_: I know. It's a little idea I got from an excellent Sunday
newspaper.]

George Leghorn was an Albino, but his figure was very graceful. From the
specimen which I have already given, it will be easy to believe that his
wit was fluorescent, detergent, and vibratory. He afterwards became a
well-known personality on the turf. He gained a considerable fortune by
laying the odds; his family were all reputed to be good layers.

Dear old Peter Cochin was staunch and true. H