us, and of course my
situations. My great model says it is a positive punishment to her to
be in one position for long at a time, and I must be something like
that--I rarely keep a place much longer than a month. On the other hand,
I still have quite a number of metal discs that formed the wheels of a
toy railway train which I had when I was quite a child. I should have
had them all, but I used some to get chocolates out of the automatic
machines.

I should have liked to have appended here a list of my accomplishments,
but I must positively keep room for my last chapter. So to save space I
will merely give a list of the accomplishments which I have not got, or
have not got to perfection.

The E flat clarionet is not really my instrument, but I will give you
three guesses what is.

I skate beautifully, but not so well as I dance. However, I am saving
the I's out of my autobiography for further practice.

Some people perhaps have better memories. But that's no reason why they
should write to the "Sunday Times" about it.

I cannot write Chinese as fluently as English, though I might
conceivably write it more correctly.

I think I have mentioned everything in which I am not perfectly
accomplished. Truth and modesty make me do it.

I would conclude this estimate of myself as follows. If I had to confess
and expose one opinion of myself which would record what I believe to
be my differentiation from other people, it would be the opinion that I
am a law unto myself and a judgment to everybody else.

LATE EXTRA

TRAGIC DISAPPEARANCE OF MARGE ASKINFORIT

I sometimes think that it must have been a sense of impending
autobiography which made me seek employment in the Lightning Laundry.
After all, the autobiographist merely does in public what the laundry
does in the decent seclusion of its works at Wandsworth or Balham.

The principal difference would appear to be that a respectable laundress
does know where to draw the line.

But I admit that I had other motives in seeking a new career. My attempt
to reclaim baronets in their dinner-hour had broken down completely; in
spite of everything I could do, the dirty dogs would persist in eating
their dinner at that time. Then again, the beautiful and imaginative
essays which dear Casey wrote, under different names and with varying
addresses, on my suitability for domestic service, had begun to attract
too much attention; and a censorious world stigmatized as false