to be signed
with the name of another well-known lady had made me think it
possible that this might be the case. Society? It is a great
mystery. I can hardly think of it without taking off my boots and
prostrating myself orientally. To criticize it is a mistake; it is
even, if I may for once use a harsh word, subversive. It is the
only one we've got. Oh, hush! Only in whispers at the dead of night
to the most trusted friend under the seal of secrecy can we think
of criticizing it. But holding, as I do, perhaps the most important
public position in the Continent of Europe, if not in the whole
world--responsible, as I am, for what may be called the sustenance
of the next generation--I do feel called upon to carry out any
repairs and re-decoration of the social fabric that may be
required. You with your universal influence which--until Einstein
arrives--will be the only possible explanation of the vagaries in
the orbit of Mercury, can do as much, or nearly as much. Do it. But
never speak of it. Oh, hush! (Sorry--I forgot I'd mentioned that
before.)

"In reply to your inquiry, I never read 'Robert Elsmere,' but
understand from a private source that it saved many young men from
reading 'David Grieve.' Your second inquiry as to the lady-love of
my first youth is violent--very violent. Suppose you mind your own
business."

FOURTH EXTRACT

THE SOLES

I do not know why we were called the Soles. Enemies said it was because
we were flat, fishy, and rather expensive.

Our set comprised the upper servants of some of the best houses in
Mayfair. Looking back at it now, I can see that no similar body ever had
such a tremendous influence. It may not have been entirely due to us
that gravity varies inversely as the square of the distance, but at
least we acquiesced. And what we did in home and foreign politics has
scarcely yet been suspected.

The reason for our influence is sufficiently obvious. Our great leader,
James Arthur Bunting, was perhaps the most perfect butler that the world
has yet seen; his magnificent presence, plummy voice, exquisite tact,
and wide knowledge made him beyond price. We had other butlers whom it
would have been almost equally difficult to replace. We had chefs who
with a chain of marvellous dinners bound their alleged employers to
their chariot-wheels. Nominally, Parliament ruled the c