her into hysterics, and then into the magnetic
sleep. I tried again next night, and she fell into the slumber in little
more than two minutes. . . . I can wake her with perfect ease; but I
confess (not being prepared for anything so sudden and complete) I was
on the first occasion rather alarmed. . . . The Western parts being
sometimes hazardous, I have fitted out the whole of my little company
with LIFE-PRESERVERS, which I inflate with great solemnity when we get
aboard any boat, and keep, as Mrs. Cluppins did her umbrella in the
court of common pleas, ready for use upon a moment's notice.". . .

He resumed his letter, on "Sunday, April the third," with allusion to a
general who had called upon him in Washington with two literary ladies,
and had written to him next day for an immediate interview, as "the two
LL's" were ambitious of the honor of a personal introduction. "Besides
the doctor and the dread New Englander, we have on board that valiant
general who wrote to me about the 'two LL's.' He is an old, old man with
a weazen face, and the remains of a pigeon-breast in his military
surtout. He is acutely gentlemanly and officer-like. The breast has so
subsided, and the face has become so strongly marked, that he seems,
like a pigeon-pie, to show only the feet of the bird outside, and to
keep the rest to himself. He is perhaps _the_ most horrible bore in this
country. And I am quite serious when I say that I do not believe there
are, on the whole earth besides, so many intensified bores as in these
United States. No man can form an adequate idea of the real meaning of
the word, without coming here. There are no particular characters on
board, with these three exceptions. Indeed, I seldom see the passengers
but at meal-times, as I read and write in our own little state-room. . . .
I have smuggled two chairs into our crib, and write this on a book upon
my knee. Everything is in the neatest order, of course; and my
shaving-tackle, dressing-case, brushes, books, and papers, are arranged
with as much precision as if we were going to remain here a month. Thank
God we are not.

"The average width of the river rather exceeds that of the Thames at
Greenwich. In parts it is much broader; and then there is usually a
green island, covered with trees, dividing it into two streams.
Occasionally we stop for a few minutes at a small town, or village (I
ought to say city, everything is a city here); but the banks are for the
most par